I’ve (34M) been seeing this girl (28) for about 3 months now, officially together for a bit over a month.
Honestly, things have been really good. We get along great, there’s strong chemistry, we’ve already met each other’s families, and when we’re together everything just feels easy. No stress, no overthinking, just good vibes.
The thing is, we live about 2 hours apart. So we don’t see each other all the time. This is a bit new to me as my previous relationships were in the same city.
And I’ve noticed that when we’re not together, my brain kind of goes into overdrive. Like I’ll start thinking stuff like “what if she loses interest,” “what if she meets someone else,” or “what if this just fades out.” There’s no real evidence for it, it just kind of spirals from small things (like her being a bit more quiet over text for a day or two).
The other day on this couples app we use, she answered a question about enjoying the present moment with me. She rated it high but added a note like “at the same time I worry about how this will go in the future.” That kind of stuck with me.
I get it — we’re not 20 anymore, so it’s normal to think about long-term stuff. But I guess it made me more aware of my own anxiety.
I don’t want to become clingy or weird about it, because I know that’s the fastest way to mess things up. And I really do want this to work out in the long run. But at the same time, I don’t love just sitting with these thoughts either.
So I’m kind of stuck in between:
- trying to stay chill and not overreact
- but also wanting some sense of reassurance / stability
Is this just normal early-LDR anxiety?
And how do you deal with it without projecting it onto your partner or sabotaging something that’s actually going well?
Would appreciate any real advice.