I'm grieving something, but i don't know what.
There isn't really something to grieve about; but if i stop moving for a moment, to catch my breath, there is something lurking in my vicinity. A feeling that cant quite reach me, sometimes more distant, sometimes closer; a coldness, that makes it quite difficult to breathe. Before i get going on my way again, to meet my neutral veil, that gives me some much needed air again as it slowly drapes over me, i still see glimpses of desperation, anger, and so, so much more inexplicable things, that i do not wish to encounter. I cant handle it, you see? I never quite knew where it came from, but its presence isn't really welcomed. I can manage to tolerate it, but if its just a reminder, of how incompatible i am with everything in this world, i rather get going again and again, till someday i finally get to rest forever, to not return to this place, to "life". Sometimes i wonder, why i am still regarded as a living being, when in fact, from my point of view, i was already buried in a graveyard centuries ago.