I [26/F] am in love with a man [30/M] who is "socially paralyzed." He won't touch me, but gets jealous of other guys. Do I wait?
Met a guy 2 years ago, lived together, then lost touch. Reconnected 6 months ago and the tension was insane. I tried to move on with a "kind guy" because OG guy was vague, which caused a huge confrontation.
Now OG guy and I are closer than ever mentally, but he’s too in his head to be physical. I’m leaving for 2 months, should I use this time to finally cut the cord?
TLDR
I [26/F] met "OG guy" [30/M] 2 years ago in Japan. We lived together for a month, it was romantic and physical, but I moved away and we didn't speak for 1.5 years. I moved back to Japan 6 months ago and saw him again. The attraction was crazy. I have never felt tension like that; the air felt thick.
For 2 months after our reunion I told him how I felt, but he was vague, I thought he didn’t care about me the way I felt about him. So I took the advice of mutual friends and decided to move on.
During the holidays while he was away I started dating a very kind, genuine guy. I didn’t realise OG guy was back and during a group hangout he saw us together, literally pulled me out of the venue, and demanded to know what was going on. (This is after one month of no texting btw) I told him again everything I felt and after that he really started trying. I know men are stupid but I think he is actually really bad at dating a genuinely clueless.
But I had already decided to move on so I kept dating the nice new guy while constantly trying to then OG guy down. About a month later we ended up on a group snowboarding trip. That was the end. I gave in, I was weak. It was so nice. He did everything for me and even the mutual friends that told me to give up before told me they could really see he cares. So I broke it off with nice guy when I got back.
We are now in this weird limbo. Mentally, we are more than friends. We cuddle, we get jealous, but there is still this weird wall between us. And physically? Nothing. It’s been 6 months since I’ve had sex and it’s driving me crazy.
I’ve realized he isn’t "playing" me he’s just serious, overthinks everything, and is so scared of saying the wrong thing that he says nothing. I think he has ptsd from his last relationship mixed with having no time to concentrate on a new relationship. It’s kind of the same for me I don’t want to be in a relationship right now I want both of us to grow and focus on our careers but I also wonder if we could grow together as friends. I’m just confused. He also pays for everything for me when we go out.. which is weird right? And we spend so much time together and talk about so many things but I can tell there are things he can’t say to me, like there is still a wall he has up. I think he just needs time to be honest and maybe I am pressuring him a bit too much.
Ok literally fuck this the more I write the more I’m thinking I just need to wait for him because I love him.