anyone feel used?
my partner broke up with me citing depression as the reason and the next day they went into i believe psychosis and came out to me they were trans. i tried to get them help but they were incoherent. i haven’t spoken to them since or been able to get in contact besides their mother who tell me they’re “doing better. thanks” and that’s all. i was sent a manifesto about how sex was evil and bunch of other ramblings. i am a very sexual person and most of our time was spent pleasing them, rather than the other way around. i can’t shake the feeling that they were never attracted to me and just used me to feel masculine, or play into that role. they were all of my firsts. i can’t help but be disgusted with myself, thinking this was never something they wanted in the first place. that my first love was built on a lie. the difficult being i can’t contact them and they’re going through such a tough time, i wouldn’t want to have to make them dissect our relationship because the most important l thing is that they receive mental help. i wouldn’t want to force or make them confront anything in a time of high stress. but i feel so disposable and but more so, im so concerned for them and their well-being. i know i have to leave this all in the past and just try to be there for them if they give me the opportunity but yeah. does anyone else ever feel dirty or used? i feel so alone because i would never ever out them to anyone, so i have no one to talk to at all about how im feeling.