u/Friendly-Smile3327

We basically communicate through Pinterest boards we have of each other when there are vulnerable things we want to say, and for context, we're VERY close. We've only been friends for a few months, but we hang out and cuddle every morning and find excuses to see each other between every class, but since we're lesbians, all of our friends think we're dating. Anyway, here's the thing they saved that might be friendzoning me??

https://preview.redd.it/4qgle76for2h1.jpg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f081196e5fc8d815d81f92cbc787c3011eb8719

So I (15F) am best friends with who I'm going to call N (15 nonbinary). We're both lesbians, and we've been really close friends for a few months. For context, in about December, I sort of sprinted full-speed into their life and we instantly clicked. The problem is, since then, we've acted so couple-y that everyone thinks we're dating (and I WISH we were dating), and I'm not sure if I'm just being an oblivious lesbian or absolutely delusional.

And honestly, I thought I had a shot!! N is literally the most incredible person you can imagine, and even though our personalities clicked, they're super good-looking while I'm a solid 4/10. I'm not trying to be self-deprecating and shit (I personally love how I look), but it's part of the reason I never imagined my feelings could be reciprocated.

Anyway, here are the possibly incredibly super obvious signs that they might like me back:

1. We call for 1-2 hours on most night after spending 2 hour practices together and being inseperable at school

2. We sleep over at each others house as often as we can

3. We cuddle and hold hands everywhere we go

4. We get, like, REALLY close to each other's faces while giggling, like in random staring contests and stuff

5. Related to that, we find every excuse to touch each other - running fingers through hair, wiping stuff off faces, adjusting necklaces, etc.

6. We have playlists, pinterest boards, and many drawings of each other

But here's the part that makes me feel like shit. So N's a super shy person, like very very quiet, which is why we get along so well. I'm a massive extravert and I love talking to people, even though I tend to be very quiet around N. Recently, we've been adding characters to N's Tamadochi Life island, and our Miis immediately fell in love. We laughed about it and stuff, and I made the mistake of trying to convince N to "commit to the bit" and let us get together. I brought it up a pathetic amount of times, but consistently, N hated the idea and would wrinkle their nose in response. They also said, "No, I think of our relationship more as father-and-son," which seems devastatingly clear to me.

If everything actually pointed to N liking me back, wouldn't they have taken the opportunity to jokingly let us be together? As a fellow anxiety-riddled gay that's terrified of confessing feelings, I know I would have. I'm not asking you to do your Reddit thing and just tell me what I want to hear or encourage me to ask them out, because if I lost N, I'm not sure what I'd do. Losing them would mean losing the person I love more than anything. All of my favorite memories, and all of the ones we could still make, would be ruined, and I can't imagine that.

So, please, tell me honestly if their response pointed to honestly not reciprocating my feelings, or if the other stuff outweighs it. My hope was that maybe they just got over-defensive because of their anxiety, but since I mentioned our Miis so many times just to get the same response over and over again, I have absolutely no clue what to do.

Thank you so much, please help!!!!!!!!

TL;DR: Do they like me back if they're heavily against letting our Mii-selves date?