Did I got fooled?
I really need some support here guys. I feel alone. Any help would be appreciated.
My connection with her began as an innocent friendship. She trusted me, opened up to me, and told me how lonely she felt in her relationship. Slowly, she started confessing that she had feelings for me. She told me she felt safe with me, that she wanted to leave her partner, that she couldn’t take it anymore, that I was the person she truly wanted.
And I believed her.
Because her words matched her actions: the kisses, the intimacy, the confessions, the late‑night calls, the way she held on to me. She pulled me into a world I never intended to enter, but one I eventually gave my whole heart to.
Then everything escalated.
Her partner told her he *knew the truth*.
He ended the relationship.
He said he held no grudge.
And he left the country.
She returned home.
And I genuinely believed that now—finally—we would live the life she had been describing for months. She kept telling me she loved me, that she didn’t want him, that she had emotionally left that relationship long before I ever appeared.
But as the days passed, the contradiction became painfully clear.
The more she told me she loved me, the more she pulled away.
The more she said she wanted to be with me, the more fear took over.
The more she brought me into her life, the more she left me hanging.
And when her ex eventually came back, everything collapsed.
The same woman who told me she wanted to leave him,
the same woman who said she didn’t love him,
the same woman who swore I was her truth,
suddenly started drifting back toward him.
Some days later, she asked me to tell her everything I know about her ex. I told her that I don't feel okay doing that but eventually I told her that he cheated on her many times and lot of others heavy stuff.
In the end, after everything she said and everything we lived,
she went back to him.
And that was the real betrayal.
Not just that she chose someone else—
but that she made me believe she had already chosen me.
She pulled me into a love she ignited,
made me fight for it,
made me feel it deeply…
and when the moment of truth came,
**she let me fall alone.**
The biggest problem is that she is in love with me, and that makes it hard for me to get over her. For example, last Friday I asked her to meet for a bit. I wanted to tell her to stop thinking that if she were with me, she would have to change or try harder to avoid hurting me or making me doubt things. I reassured her that I loved her exactly as she is and didn’t need anything more. She thanked me for telling her all that.
Then we started talking about unrelated things. I looked into her eyes for a while and she told me not to do that because she couldn’t handle it. After a bit, I did it again, and she also kept looking at me for a moment—and suddenly she started kissing me passionately. Afterwards, she told me she keeps making mistakes, and I told her that kissing me wasn’t the mistake—the mistake is that she wants to go back to a situation she tried so hard to get out of.
On Monday we had an intense conversation through messages, and the following dialogue happened:
-When you said you can’t handle me looking into your eyes, is it because you get turned on and want sex?
-You still haven’t understood that it’s not about sex?
-I understood that, yes, and that’s exactly the problem. Doesn’t that bother you?
-It does bother me, yes. I think about it every day. Just because I don’t say it doesn’t mean I don’t think about it. I just keep it to myself.
-Isn’t it a shame that we have these feelings for each other and we have to kill them?
- I don’t feel ready. I don’t feel like what I had with my ex is over, and it would be unfair to you for me to say I’ll be with you while thinking about him. I’ve made my decision—I want to try again with him.