[Throwaway] I really need guidance
Found a friend that really cared for me more than a year and 5 months ago in Dec 2024, as my mental health plummeted. They were a girl (19) and I was a guy (19). They were extremely supportive of me and from my perspective seemed like they treated me like a person which was an experience from the treatment i was used to by my "friends" who made me feel overall invisible. The experience of being treated by somebody like they actually cared about me was very emotional and exciting at the time and I felt like a normal person which I wanted to feel like all my life. This was the first person that I shared most things to including the self harm which I undertook due to my depression. This person also undertook self harm but I feel like me telling her that freaked her out and she very quickly backed away in a very polite way and stopped talking to me. It has been more or less and year and the bottom line is that I need to know ways to move on and make new friends and connections. Please help me. Is it normal to be wanted to be taken care of or should I man up and pursue my own mental health. I can't find the courage to post this unless i think about posting this all day but I am on the brink and I need advice that isn't dismissive and ironic. Please help me.