I’m furious and hopeless right now with my ex who says he will call the cops if me or my friends and family go to our daughter’s grad party. Throwaway account for obvious reasons. I (35f) in Iowa. I am recently separated from my husband (37m) of 13 yrs, together 19. We have two kids (19m and 17f). My daughter is graduating next month and my ex said he’s having her party and not inviting my family. When I told him he can’t keep me away from my daughter’s party he said he will call the cops if I show up.
I moved out to separate myself from my toxic ex-husband 5 months ago after he accused me of cheating and he’s not emotionally supportive. We are ok on the communication about the kids but he keeps bringing up my friend at work any time we talk. There’s not a custody agreement but I have my daughter 50% at nights after school. It’s been hard money-wise for me having to get all new furniture and pay rent and care for the kids activities with a single income so I haven’t been able to set anything aside for my daughter’s party. He got promoted a little over a year ago and makes a significant amount more than me.
My ex’s family is letting them do the party at their house and when I asked to talk about what kind of cake, he said I’m not coming. He told me to do my own party, but I can’t afford to just host a lot of people on my own right now. My older son said he can’t help either so I’m stuck not able to celebrate it with her.
We had my son’s party last year and my ex went off and abandoned it anyway leaving me to do cleaning up. My family is not very supportive and I don’t have a good mother. Only my sister was able to stay and help us clean up. Later my ex said he left because I invited my best friend and I was too flirty. My ex has PTSD and the kids say he doesn’t do anything when he’s home, just sits in the chair.
Can he really have me arrested if I go to the party? I already told him he needs to stop bringing up my best friend when talking to me and my kids. AITAH for telling my family about the party but saying he won’t let them go? Am I able to make him go get help for the PTSD?
Thank you