u/From803-216

To the elderly gentleman who stole a soft drink and hauled ass in the Black GMC Envoy, I am hoping you have some medical emergency that made it necessary for you to steal that beverage. I pray for that to be the reason.

However, because I am a cynical old fuck, I don’t think that is this case and it’s much more fun for me and entertaining for the people if I go by the contrary. Therefore….

(This when you fine people go get a sandwich or some popcorn.)

Ahem….

You…you humpback bitch!

You look like if Quasimodo had a buttfuck baby with Uncle Fester. You clearly needed that XXL Big Gulp more than my store needed the sale. I hope your foot falls off while you’re driving and you careen off the Valley View Bridge. You miserable, cheap, possibly inbred fuck. I would HAPPILY use the $2 and PAY YOU THE $2 to reveal what genetic sewage tank you crawled out from. I would then launch 2 Kickstarters. One will be for your scoliosis (possibly a symptom of inbreeding) that rivals the Hapsburg chin, and the other will be to fill in your home with concrete so that decent society suffers no longer from your kind!

Have a good evening.

My parking lot is not a racetrack or drag strip, you stupid fucking idiot. This jackass just pulled into the lot going so fast I legitimately thought he was going to hop the curb and turn me into a speed bump.

To the gentleman with the green stripe in your hair, wearing the black US ARMY hoodie and driving the dark blue Chevy Equinox, the police have you on camera. You stole that alcohol and put in your left pocket. You walked around the bag candy aisle then around to where the regular size candy is sold. You then paused for a moment and walked out.

Have a wonderful evening.

To the walking diaper stain who left a toilet full of shit and toilet paper, you have clearly demonstrated that you have more teeth than IQ points but the margin is narrow. You look like your momma and daddy shared genetics LONG before you came along.

This…I’m assuming human being…just walked in and his breath made me dry heave IN FRONT OF HIM.

I’m going to describe him as a warning to you fine people. Imagine Gizmo, halfway through the transformation to a Gremlin, but he gets run over by a semi going down hill with no brakes and a trailer of lumber.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

When in the wide, wide world of sports did people start taking pictures of their IDs and thinking that any business would accept them? I’ve worked in bars, hotels, grocery stores and gas stations. Not one place would or does EVER accept these photos of your ID.

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP MAKE SENSE OF THIS.

New to the forum. Thanks for having me. I appreciate being had.

Tonight, I am doing the computer training for my company dealing with age-restricted sales.

A young couple walk in and want to purchase a mixed cocktail. I ask both for IDs. The woman had an ID but the man does not. NEITHER OF THEM LOOK 21. I say I can’t make the sale because neither look is of enough and only one has an ID. The guy then says, “I told you they’re weird as fuck here.”

So he already has experience with our ID Policy.

Then, he instructs the woman TO LEAVE HER ID AT THE STORE. They leave.

You have experience with our ID rules and yet you try to subvert them.

Congratulations to our DUMBASSES OF THE NIGHT!