God does not provide
I'm just reflecting on the past years of my life and I realize more and more how much I was lied to and even how much I lied to myself.
GOD DOES NOT PROVIDE.
He simply does not. He did not and he never will. Who did and does and will provide are people. People who care. Regardless of religion. Simply someone who cares. God does sh*t. I tried so hard for so long to give him all the credit. To trust him. To lean on him. What I learned is this. He is utterly useless. Not deserving of my attention. Hell, not deserving of my love. My heart is too precious to share it with an abuser ever again. I've never been in a more one-sided relationship. My soul does not belong to him or to any church. It belongs to me.
Don't let people lie to you. If they have nothing to give and they only make your life miserable by lying to you and if they can't prove their point, RUN or ignore them. You deserve better.
Have a nice day, kind internet strangers.