Is abandoning my family the only way to prevent a breakdown?
I’m am near my breaking point and fear I will soon snap and disappear completely. I am a 50f, the sole financial provider for myself, my husband, and my 21 yo son with high-functioning autism, and almost the only companion for my aging mother who lives with us.
I became disabled two years ago, so I support the family solely with my disability income (my mother has retirement income for herself). I am responsible for everything to do with the household except for car matters or reno projects/repairs. I’m stuck in bed 23+ hours a day, so I manage what I can, when I can, on my computer (which is less and less as my health continues to decline). The house (which is too big for me) is a mess and falling apart. My body and brain can no longer keep up with life’s requirements.
I fear the only way to prevent a total breakdown is to move into a house I bought for myself six years ago, when I was working on the career I spent 30 years building just to see it all slip away due to my disability. The problem is, the house is 9 hours away, in an area I had planned on eventually relocating and retiring. If I do what is best for me and move, I will desert my family. There is so much more to my story, too much to write, but this is the gist of my current/main dilemma. A lot of my current problems are my own fault for allowing myself to get trapped in this situation, but I can’t change the past.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and what did you do?