What on earth is this ?
Is this limerence ? I’m expecting to get torn apart here so knock yourselves out !
I’ve been with my partner for a little over 15 years and married for 10. We have a couple of small people and life is hectic as expected. The marriage is not what I would say easy and we’ve managed both some exceptionally amazing and exceptionally low times. However, over the course of time we’ve drifted apart and things aren’t looking great. We’re not great communicators and both have our issues but as I’ve gotten older there are some behavioural differences that are becoming an issue which I am working on though my wife chooses to ignore her part in the process. It’s more nuanced than that but that’s going through therapy at the moment.
Anyhow, I have a friendly relationship with a coworker who is a divorced mum of two. We’ve worked together for about 3 years and in late 2024 went on an overnight business trip and enjoyed each others company with a lot of flirting and innuendo. This behaviour somewhat continued on through 2025 when I asked her out for a friendly lunch which has now turned into regular catchups, the odd night out with other people which has inevitably ended up in us being together alone at the end of the night. Meanwhile my marriage has descended into a best mates scenario with us sleeping in the same room and that’s about it.
Long and short of it. My work colleague and I have become close and there are definitely apparent moments of closeness and what feels like potential intimacy via body language which contradicts her verbal language. Confusing ? Yes. She makes me feel like I can create a life for myself outside of my marriage and this makes me want to make a life with her. I feel so silly for thinking this way but can’t park the emotions. It seems to feel like limerence but it could also be me in the midst of an emotional affair with no outcome.