u/FrostingNew4728

A woman in a patriarchal country, atheist in a very religious country and an even more religious family a lesbian in a homophobic country and an even more homophobic family I couldn't pick struggles.

​I want to conform but how? When its blatantto me that all of this is just stupid belief that I can't force myself to confirm to why did I have to be aware of it ?

I wished today for the first time in my life to be a normal conforming woman devoted to God it feels easier..why do I have to fight for everything? I wished life would have been nicer to me and made me just like my sisters but no. I have to be reminded every second every time I have to pretend that I am praying I can't even cry alone in this traditional cultish family cause why would I? "We pray, all of my family prays, God blessed us by how much devoted everyone is."

​I hate my existence with every fiber of my being. I hate this country and its stupid religion and tradition.

Its because some have the luxury to live a normal life we forgot that we don't have a choice I can't run and i cant be protected

m considering forensic medicine as a specialty and I’d like to know what the field is actually like in Libya.

And would it be difficult for me to gain the experience and training I’d need here before eventually moving abroad especially as a woman?

m worried that I might not get enough exposure to cases or handson experience to build the skills

m also concerned about safety I’ve heard that forensic doctors can sometimes face threats or pressure because of the cases they work on Does this still happen ?

I’m 25 and I’ve only been in one relationship that lasted about 8 months. ..After that I entered a situationship that lasted a year.... I didn’t like the concept of a situationship because it felt wrong to have feelings for her...

.. I got too emotional and she kept reminding me that we weren’t technically girlfriends made me sad and I ended it

I don’t know whether it is boredom or a yearning for emotional connection.. but I kinda forgot how to be single I feel like how did I manage to live until 24 without having someone so close to me?

I don’t remember feeling that lonely when the concept of having a relationship wasn’t on my mind two years ago.

For context I live in a very patriarchal very homophobic very religious country. I’m a lesbian and an atheist and both can put me in danger so I don’t have a lot of friends because it’s not easy to do. The problem is every time I talk to someone about it they say work hobbies study. I’m a high achieving person I’m a med student nno matter how hard it is I still have time to yearn I can draw and crochet and I’m very good at both I have carpal tunnel from how much I practice both... I work and study and I still fucking yearn for someone to belong to.