My father was a r*pist but never touched me
I’m (33f) not really sure what I’m hoping for here. I guess I just need to get this off my chest. My now estranged Narcissistic father (64m) was distant to me my entire childhood but increasingly more so as I grew into my teen years. He told me I looked like my aunt Kim, and I knew he hated her.
He beat my brothers with belts and sticks, but he never hit me, nor shoved or dragged me like I saw him do to my brothers. I always wondered why, as later due to his treatment of my mother, it became clear he wasn’t above physically abusing women.
This week, my estranged grandfather died. And everything has started to come out.
It turns out that my father r*ped both his younger sisters during their childhood. Both my aunt Kim and aunt Sarah (3 and 5 years younger) were victims of his. When his parents found out, they sent him to a Christian counselor for a few sessions and then swept it under the rug.
Now the news broke, family are calling, asking about me—his only daughter—and whether he ever touched me that way.
He didn’t. I know I’d remember it. But it’s thrown me for a loop. I was definitely in his reach. He could so easily have hurt me that way. It’s especially disturbing as I think about how he told me I looked like one of his sisters whom he r*ped at my age. I don’t know how to process this. I’m so disgusted. I’m struggling as well with the fact that his sisters— my aunts — knew what he was capable of and didn’t warn my mother or me to keep me safe.
I knew he was a monster. I didn’t know he was this kind of monster.