A past relationship told me I “moan like a whore” and now I can’t stop telling myself to be quiet during sex
When I was 15 I got involved with an older girl who had a lot of internalised homophobia. She could do whatever she wanted to me, but if I tried to initiate anything (even just kissing her first) she’d say it was “too gay.” During sex she told me I moaned “like a whore” and that it was “too much.” It really stuck with me.
Now I’m with my girlfriend and whenever we have sex I unconsciously cover my mouth or try to stay quiet. I’m not performing or faking anything, I’m just really sensitive and naturally vocal. I moan, whimper, and sometimes say stuff without meaning to. My girlfriend has told me multiple times that she loves hearing me and wants me to let go, but I can’t get that old voice out of my head telling me it’s embarrassing and “whorish.”
It’s genuinely affecting how much I can enjoy sex.
Advice? :(