Is it normal to feel hurt when therapist terminates therapy?
I (36F) have seen my therapist two years now. They recently terminated therapy with me. I think it’s because I passively called them out in a session, which was difficult for me to do. We began having disagreements surrounding medication which caused tension, but it magnified when they found a private account I haven’t shared with anyone except them. I understand therapists are also people but I never gave specific details about the account, just that it exists. I slipped up during a meeting and shared my username. The next day, I had a new anonymous follower who left comments and spoke the same way they did. I let it go. It could be anyone, but it felt like my therapist. I can’t explain it. It‘s a faceless account where I share my artwork and paintings, nothing special, but it‘s mine and the follower shook me. I stopped posting and wanted to regroup.
Two sessions later, they brought up my anxiety and stress levels, and made an off-hand comment about how I haven’t been posting art anymore either. I had issues with this for two reasons.
- I never said that.
- I continued to do art for myself, but not share it because I was rattled. I’m aware I’m distrusting, and I was trying to give myself space to believe the follower was a coincidence. Clearly, it wasn’t.
I called them out, saying I never said I hadn’t been posting. They were quiet, wouldn’t look at me, and changed the subject. I wanted to have a discussion about it, but wasn’t sure what was appropriate or not. Before the next session, they terminated therapy. The irony here, is that I wondered if we should terminated therapy but wanted to give it another session before deciding. I am working on my reactivity, instead, I feel very dismissed and thrown to the side.
Overall, I’m dejected. It‘s possible they were being supportive but it feels like a violation of privacy and my safe space in therapy, and online, are gone. Ironically, now I am no longer doing art at all, which was my stress relief. I am wary of a new therapist now and how much to share - which is the opposite of how I should feel. My previous terminations have always been amicable, and like it was time. This has left me feeling extremely exposed.
Is it normal to feel this way? Would it be weird to discuss this with a new therapist? Or is this a normal occurrence when terminating therapy?Therapy should be a safe space and now I feel like I should draw boundaries. It’s confusing and makes me wonder if I’m overreacting. Then again, I also wish I could clear the air with my old therapist (I won’t. It would be inappropriate but I feel harsh for calling them out. They helped me for a long time). I appreciate any point of view anyone can provide, as I understand therapists are people too. Thank you.