u/FullConclusion4946

Hello everyone!

I am currently in the 2nd year of my PhD in Condensed Matter Physics in Germany and undergoing mid PhD crisis - at least I would call it that way. The following are the highlights:

I am unsure if I am really interested in what I am doing - the PhD topic as a whole excites me and keeps me curious but the current steps I am trying to achieve - somehow feels more like a burden or forced rather than fun

I share my instrument with a senior PhD candidate who has (supposedly) spent ~ 2 years of his PhD in building and repairing the instrument and hence during the first year of my PhD, I hardly got any time to work on it as he needed measurement and results for papers. I have recently started (~ 4-6 months) working on the instrument but of course I still get limited time and am not fully trained yet - which made me do "mistakes" such as dropping samples, etc which costs time and effort for me AND the other person. This makes my PI a bit unhappy and I am not in a position to be "trusted" yet with the instrument. This has become a loop - I make mistake - feel scared - the senior guy keeps yelling - PI isn't confident on me - makes me feel more nervous and guilty - another mistake - reapeat. How do I get out of this loop?

Lack of ideas - My specific part of the project depends largely on another group (in my uni) to prepare samples for me. the person doing it is defending soon and therefore has other things to do as well - for him, my samples aren't a priority. My PI is unhappy as to why I am not pushing him to grow for me because this is ultimately "my project". I wish to not sit idol and continue doing something like a side project or something but I am out of any ideas - another reason my PI is unhappy as I am not able to suggest or come up with new ideas yet. I am just "waiting" for instructions and also, executing them "not so focused and with errors".

Finally, I wish to bring my PhD back on track with interest and efforts.

Your suggestions and experiences will matter a lot to me! Please write in!

Thanks! :)

Hello everyone!
I am currently in the 2nd year of my PhD in Condensed Matter Physics in Germany and undergoing mid PhD crisis - atleast I would call it so. Following are the highlights :

1. I am unsure if I am really interested in what I am doing - the PhD topic as a whole excites me and keeps me curious but the current steps I am trying to achieve - somehow feels more like a burden or forced rather than fun
2. I share my instrument with a senior PhD candidate who has (supposedly) spent ~ 2 years of his PhD in building and repairing the instrument and hence during the first year of my PhD, I hardly got any time to work on it as he needed measurement and results for papers. I have recently begun (~ 4-6 months) working on the instrument but ofcourse I still get limited time and am not fully trained yet - which made me do "mistakes" such as dropping samples, etc which costs time and effort for me AND the other person. This makes my PI a bit unhappy and I am not in a position to be "trusted" yet with the instrument. This has become a loop - I make mistake - feel scared - the senior guy keeps yelling - PI isn't confident on me - makes me feel more nervous and guilty - another mistake - reapeat. How do I get out of this loop ?
3. Lack of ideas - My specific part of the project depends largely on another group (in my uni) to prepare samples for me. the person doing it is defending soon and hence has other things to do as well - for him, my samples aren't a priority. My PI is unhappy as to why I am not pushing him to grow for me because this is ultimately "my project". I wish to not sit idol and continue doing something like a side project or so but I am out of any ideas - another reason my PI is unhappy as I am not able to suggest or come up with new ideas yet. I am just "waiting" for instructions and also, executing them "not so focussed and with errors".
4. Finally, I wish to bring my PhD back in track with interest and efforts.

Your suggestions and experiences will matter a lot to me! Please write in!

Thanks! :)