u/FullFisherman1021

Ever since I’ve become a Christian I’ve been infiltrated with guilt and shame. Reading the bible and gaining knowledge on god has led me to think about all the horrible ways I’ve treated people and now I can’t move past it I’ve been in limbo for over a year feeling like this. Before becoming a Christian I was so proud and full of myself I never doubted myself and I always knew things would work out for me you could say I was selfish but I always trusted that things would be okay. Now I know that things won’t be like that and I feel terrible it’s been eating me alive I don’t know how to forgive I don’t know how to gain my confidence back i need help

I don’t have anyone to tell this to but I met a guy who is the preacher at a church and claims to be a prophet and he flipped my life upside down. He told me things about my family no one would ever know and said god told him - he knew things about me that I’ve done in the past that were kept secret. I was blown away by all this information he somehow knew about people I loved and me I was in awe of how powerful god is he told me he sees us getting married and the whole 9 yards. I felt like god answered my prayers and I finally met a man of god who would be my husband. Over time though I saw how he was treating people in the church and the people around him, I realized his character wasn’t matching up with gods- he was coercing people into paying him for prayer because “god told them to” and people would do it because he was communicating in the spirit realm and getting true information about them. I remember one girl from the church messaged me a long paragraph and I told him about it and he grabbed my phone and deleated it and said she was just starting drama I was so confused but I trusted him. I found out recently that I was pregnant with his child and I was so upset because I was realizing he wasn’t a man of god. I decided to message the girl and she told me that she’s been seeing him for years! I was heartbroken but she was so kind and helped me a lot, a week later she told me she was pregnant too with his child. So basically he was seeing us back to back and telling us both he wants to start a family and get married. I ended up having an abortion and got out of the situation. I haven’t told anyone about this :(