What do I do
So basically me and this girl let call her m I am 21 and m is 24 turning 25 in August. Me and m have been dating for about 2 years I met her when I was 19 and she was 23. We had a little fight and are big fight but we got through it and we explored and did so much new stuff for both of us. But I broke it off recently because I am not in a good head space I found something in her car which her brother late told me it was a joke meant for her but I saw it instead I believe him but I still left her because she is going through so much in her life and doesn't need someone like me who is barely keeping it together to make it worse. I still love her so much care about her so fucking much and still want to be there for her. Me and her met up recently and alcohol was involved and stuff happened and since that happened i have been just dying in the inside and want to get back together but it's already been about a month so i am guessing she has moved on with her life, I still want her and all the memories just to keep going, I don't know want to do I am on the Brink of ending or at least relapsing I am scared and I don't know what to do