My friend ghosted me.. am I overreacting?
I am 25 f and my friend was 26 m. We became friends around February of last year online. Over the months I feel like we really bonded and got close. We talked for long hours, listened to music together and just were real with each other. I felt so close where I felt comfortable for the 1st time ever to exchange letters and mail. He even sent me some of his hoodies. Which was a huge mistake to do...
Last year, I did get arrested and he found out. He pretended not to know for some time and finally confessed he found out and told me how. He found out info I didn't yet feel comfortable sharing so I felt like it was an invasion of privacy and me not being ready to say or explain as its not stuff I talk about irl either. I felt a drift there soon after.
Over the next few months, we still talked but I noticed a decrease in those convos. He felt like I was lying or hiding this info from him and I explained half but mentioned I don't feel comfortable yet explaining everything as its a touchy subject for me. Over the months things seemed to at least be decent. Then I kinda stopped being the 1st person to message bc I felt like I was doing it a lot.. he wouldn't message as much which I can understand with life and such. But I could sense things wouldn't be the same. I tried sending another piece of mail but I noticed he acted differently than the other times. I started to think maybe hes lost interest or doesn't want to be involved with me?
Fast forward to this year, we hadn't talked as much privately or if we did, the messages were delayed by days. And by the way the entire time hes been in my discord server with other friends. I started to realize if he was still interested in me he would've made the effort.. but he didn't. I did cry at this realization bc I really enjoyed our talks and laughing at his jokes. I realized our friendship was coming to a close. That i opened my heart after not doing so for so long, only for the person to leave.
He recently stated he got a gf. I was surprised bc he had still talked sexual with me a month prior to him stating he got a gf. I felt a bit sad but happy he was able to find someone to love him bc he deserves to be loved and happy.
Then the other week, out of nowhere, he got angry with one of the other women in the server. He was very rude to her and then soon left my server completely. It seemed like he was suddenly bothered by the idea of having other women as friends on social media because of his gf. So, I decided to give him space.
I just checked my discord to check in on him and I see hes unadded me. I check snap and see hes also unadded me there as well. He still has me on insta but I feel like he would unadd me there too. I felt blindsided by this. I felt like our friendship meant nothing and tht I only served a purpose for sexual desire and this idea of getting attention from a woman. I feel hurt tht I didn't at least get a conversation explaining why. I feel hurt tht our friendship meant nothing and to the point I get ghosted. I can't help but think of him when I listen to the music he shared with me... when I see the plushies he gave me. I accepted the fact he moved on in a loving way to another woman. I was fine with this bc realistically I couldn't see us being together irl bc of both of our issues... But what hurts the most is being ghosted.
Am I overreacting?