I've been wondering about the pros and cons of having kids in singapore and was met with many responses over the last few days in another reddit thread with parents sharing heartwarming experiences of it being satisfying even though tiring having to work and caregive. I was watching the Labour Day Rally and a speaker Nasita Nasrul spoke about being exhausted from long working hours, having little time for caregiving, and still not having enough money (she has 5 kids)
I sympathise with tired parents. I watch my parents work full time whilst still trying to provide me with the best growing up. Even though we are a middle-income family, we face almost the exact same struggles: long hours, limited family time, and stretched finances.
That said, I’m not trying to invalidate the very real fatigue and difficulties that parents like Nasita experience. All mothers (and fathers) who are stretched thin deserve recognition for their efforts.
However, I do think it's fair to ask: when time and money are already so limited, why would anyone choose to have five children? I think it is one thing to want kids but another to choose to have more than you can handle. Choosing a larger family when resources are already stretched means dividing limited time, attention, and money even more thinly. This can lead to greater strain for everyone. I feel that before choosing to have 5 kids, one should rationalise the financial costs of having 5 kids and whether they are in the position to handle it.
Personal responsibility matters. Burnout is real, and the system can be improved, but i think individual choices about family size also play a significant role in determining how manageable family life becomes.