A humiliation ritual I endured in the cult
Honestly just thought I’d share this since it’s something I remembered a while back.
During the morning japa sesh, I was taking my beads out of the little Jagannath bead bag… and dropped them on the ground. I quickly tried to put it back in the bag, but my “Gurudev” happened to notice. He demanded I apologize to my beads. I remember feeling really awkward bc at that point everyone was starting to look over at me. I mumbled a “sorry” but that wasn’t enough. He demanded I repeat after him, something along the lines of “Please forgive me, oh tulsi beads! You are my best friend, for it is you that will carry me home to Golok!” And requested me to kiss them, after they had just fallen on the dirty floor which bare feet had been walking all over. One of the elderly temple workers was laughing quite loudly. As someone who’s always had social anxiety, that moment genuinely made me so embarrassed, but I was in the “humble devotee” mindset and of course couldn’t even begin to think of objecting.
Glad I’m out.