u/Fun-Wishbone-758

This is my first time in any kind of forum, I’ve always been told and forced to avoid talking to people. Is that how one would represent it? My parents are materialistic people. That have found beating and belittling me from a child till today the finest form of parenting. My father hasn’t always been there, he’s obsessed with work and he refuses to do anything with me. Heck he doesn’t even talk to me. I have everything I need and more material wise, but it’s only me. My mother has some get to in dumping her trauma onto me as a child till today, if one were to point out her flaws suddenly they are the problem in her lives. Soon I’ve had no one to talk to. Not many friends as a very anxious and lonely individual. And whenever I was to have a problem - example was when I was bullied as a child for grey hair, both physically and socially (getting beat up there for being the smaller individual or being called grandpa and old). I was the problem. I was beaten at home for causing troubles. Shouted at and profusely been called an animal. It’s starting to get very quiet around me, no one to talk to- but it’s fine if this was only me, but my much younger brother is starting to face this. And that placing pressure on me - a silent guilt. I am truly unable to talk to anyone especially considering backward narcissistic parenting has held therapy a weapon to be used against them, so I really do hope I find some solace here.