Pregnant again after miscarriage and guilt/zero support from family - do I tell them?
Hello, I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks last year. I live in another country than my blood relatives. Made the mistake of telling them about pregnancy when heartbeat was detected. When I informed them of the miscarriage, the aftermath was horrendous.
My borderline mother said things like “you should be grateful, the child would have been sick” and “because you don’t have a child, you are not eligible to our inheritance.” My narcissistic father replied “that sucks,” never mentioned it again, and immediately went back to asking me to do things for him. My sibling went straight into victim mode because I was no longer available as the family therapist/trash can and therefore useless to them.
I’m pregnant again now after a long recovery, multiple surgeries, and fertility treatments. Honestly, I have zero interest in telling my blood relatives this time. Last time they made one of the worst experiences of my life even more painful, and I keep thinking, if people don’t support you at your worst, why should they get access to your best moments?!
Part of me feels guilty because “family is family,”, and people I talk to about this don't understand. But another part of me feels deeply protective of my peace this time around.
Has anyone else kept a pregnancy private from borderline/narcissist?