There's a lot of context but long story short, we used to date, broke up due to intense mood swings, ignoring me for 2-3 days due to splitting, eventually gaslighting me about texting exes.
We're friends now as he finally decided to get therapy. Since becoming friends, it's been so much push/pull. This most recent one was "I'm going to hurt you. I only want you on my terms. I'm too fucked up. You need to leave"
He said it matter of factly and this was after going back and forth for about 30 minutes of similar things. After, he began sobbing about things unrelated to what we were talking about and he essentially took it all back.
He's done this before and then comes back, sometimes within hours or max a few days, saying he's sorry, he loves me so much and he misses me.
However, I don't want to be stupid. I'm not saying his BPD excuses it but I think there's a big difference between a guy who is telling you exactly who he is so that later on he can say "I warned you" and a guy who is so emotionally flooded that his pre-frontal cortex has shut off.
I'll take any support, advice, guidance, or wisdom anyone has.