u/Fun_Affect_4886 — reddlx

Can I be in a new relationship

So as people are aware I’ve posted alot about my life I guess because I’m
Struggling so bad at this moment in time
….. however I met a nice guy, someone I’d like to spend more time with and I know he feels the same way, but my children are 12 and 14, my daughter is going through a lot of problems
Right now and she has a lot of loyalty to her dad (who is a drug addict) and has abused me the majority of our relationship which was around 15 years. So right now I’m a full time parent, going through court battles, trying to get my children into therapy and I also have a psychologist, this guy would like to come to my house sometimes and basically have more progress with me and the relationship itself. But I’m scared, scared how my children will take this and if they will feel comfortable with this new guy, I also know because my
Children’s dad is an addict and his literally
Has no one. I mean i have literally been like a mum to him more than it ever was a relationship, I fed him done all his washing worked etc while the entire time he was using drugs. I’m scared he will go deeper into addiction and end up dying and I feel like because he’s my children’s dad some what it’s my responsibility 🫤 but I am absolutely miserable and lonely too…. I just want to feel happy and I’m worried I’m going to lose this nice guy because my life is so complicated 🥹

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u/Fun_Affect_4886 — 9 days ago

▲ 2 r/NarcissisticSpouses+1 crossposts

Hi there,
Some of you might have read my previous posts recently where I was assaulted by my children’s dad back in October.
He was drunk when this happened and I have been so confused with all of it and have this awful guilt I’m going to court and having to testify against him as he is still pleading not guilty.
Yesterday I went back again as the first time he didn’t show as he told them he spent the whole night on hospital, but yesterday he was just a no show.
The procreator advised me that he now has a warrant out for his arrest and he will now be remanded untill the trial date.
This makes me feel so much more worse like he is scared or something and I have these awful feelings I carry of guilt because he is my children’s father with substantial addiction problems and a generally chaotic lifestyle.
Does anyone have experience in cases similar and how long he could be held on remand for and I now realize he might go to jail for this as to why he isn’t showing at court.
Anyone’s advice support I’d be grateful.
I’m hating every minutes of this now
Thank you

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u/Fun_Affect_4886 — 17 days ago

▲ 106 r/NarcissisticSpouses+1 crossposts

Sorry for posting again something similar … but I am still trying to get my head around all of this & what to do for the best.

I am having to go to court again on the 7th may because my children’s father is pleading not guilty to these charges, and one of those is assault and the other two are threatening & abusive behavior.

This man I believe has been verbally abusive towards me for

Years

He’s tipped me off beds before as in lifted beds up to get me off them

He’s stolen money from my entire family to fund his drug addiction.

Took Christmas money from me and kids

Pawned my dead mums rings for drugs

He even stole my grandmas purse from her handbag years and years ago

His excuse was he was “out his face”

And at this time I really believed he had remorse

But infact I don’t believe this now

So when my house went on fire me and the children went to stay in his property

So of course the house was in his name

I remember our sons birthday and he went to school

And I was about to leave for work

I’ve worked throughout our children’s childhood

(He never once has held down a job)

He was telling me to take the day off work and go to the council because he wanted me gone out of the house etc

I do have this on recording

Other times during the summer holiday he actually kicked me out his house all because of his drug use and I didn’t and never have agreed with any of it

So after the last time he kicked me out I done all that I could to get me and the children a fresh start and a home of our own

(Which we have now)

So he wanted to stay over night etc infact he wanted to live with us

But because of his addiction problems I didn’t want this

It’s always been a easy life for him

Food on the table

Bills laid while he just sits around all day don’t absolutely nothing aside taking drugs

I’d like to add I began talking with a nice guy, and actually this guy helped me and the children get the house we live in today

One day when I lived with him, he actually took my last 10.00 which would of got me to work

So I borrowed 10.00 from my guy friend and he went absolutely crazy at me for this

He didnt want me speaking to this guy whatsoever ever

So I was coming out of work one day and I bumped into this guy

Bearing in mind my children’s dad had threatened to kill us both many a time

When I seen my children’s dad coming up the street I walked back into my work as I hate confrontation and I didn’t want my friend to get hurt

So after this

It was hell for me …..

the entire night he was saying he was going to slit my throat

Burn me out my house

Calling me a slut and everything else

I reported this to the police

On two other occasions months apart the same thing happened he was threatening to kill me if I didn’t give him money also

This was also reported to the police following this a few weeks/months after he came to my house drunk and was calling me anything infront of our eleven year old son

I got my phone and began voice recording

At one point he said “he was going to kick fuck out of me” and once he seen I was recording him he was grabbing me so hard to get the phone from me I was tried with all my might to keep the phone and at one point I hit my head off the kitchen side

And felt to the flooor I asked my friend to call the police and he ran out the back door deleted the recording and threw my phone on the front garden which hit our son on the head

He is STILL pleading not guilty to all these charges and was even offered a plea deal which he refused

He’s not being as bad now but this is months later

And I’m so worried about going to court again 🫤

These are my injuries

Am I to blame for recording him ?

Am I to blame for having a male friend help me

This truly isn’t love is it ?

Like surely this man can’t love me if he treats me this way ?

Anyone’s support or anything is greatly appreciate

I have no family support so I am at a loss half the time

And I think what I have here is a trauma bond

I think he’s hoping I don’t turn up at court and just sometimes I feel like I can’t do this 🫤

Maybe this is why he’s not being nasty to me anymore cos he’s got this hanging over him

Thank you to anyone for reading

u/Fun_Affect_4886 — 26 days ago