My grilfriend and I are not exclusive and I found her texting and trying to meet a new person
I have been dating my girl friend for 6 month. She was up front about she is a polyamous person and has always been in open relationship. I am always monogamous. We started seeing each other without defining anything, but about one or two month in, we had the conversion about relationship and we agreed to be in this not exclusive BF GF relationship. The terms are I don't want to know about the other sex activities. But I was clear that I want to be the only boyfriend.
Fast forward to last Wednesday I had a rough day at work and I was messaging her about it but i felt a bit distant. I know she need to meet a friend for dinner. I know she has a lot of guy friends and they would go for dinner sometimes. I am supportive and OK with it, she sometimes tells me the topics etc. But I was not happy that wed night as she did not say much later that night. We had a conversation about it next day and kind of move pasted it.
On Monday I came to her place and she was taking a phone call, she signalled me to not speak. She later went to the gym and I need to work so I stayed. She had her messenger open. The phone call and the feeling that she was a bit weird on Wed made me decide to read her message. I know I should not have done it, but I think it has something to do with the non exclusive uncertainty and insecurity.
Turned out she has met this guy Josh since mid April during rave or whatever, but they have been talking a lot since. They have talked about normal topics but these are the parts I am not comfortable with. They have talked about SM my girl said about wanted to do it with a intimated relationship partner and Josh said it depends on chemistry. My girlfriend on that wed has messaged him saying she wanted to see him at his place 10pm. She later said was because she finished dinner and was close by. It did not happen because my girlfriend said she was tired. Josh has been trying to set up a time to meet, and hence called on Monday.
I told her I know about Josh and everything and discussed it the rest of Monday. She said she did not feel sorry for what she did but feel sorry for hurtng my feelings. I said I can leave it be, or started dating or break up. She does not want to break up. Latet I said OK maybe we can be exclusive because I felt this is the only way I can feel special and important again. She thought for a bit and agreed.
However I am still thinking this case and her behavior for the last few days. What should I do and how should I navigate this? Should I move pass this since we are exclusive? Is it normal for me a monagamous person finding it hard to move pass it?
Several things she said about dating and having sex with friends etc in the past and recently.
She think it is a shortcut or cheat code to get to know some one quickly and deeply. She said she does not want to social so this is the shortcut to save time.