Broke up with my boyfriend of 1.5 years.
Hey yall. I thought me and my boyfriend (we’ve been in an LDR) were doing well until the first week of April when he suddenly went radio silent. I assumed he was burnt out or overwhelmed (since he was acting the same during spring break and that’s what he said afterward) so I eased off while still sending him the “I love you“ and “I hope you had a good day today“ text before I went to bed every night. After a week of that he responded to me (April 13th) saying that he couldn’t keep avoiding it and that he didn’t ”feel the same as before“ and that he’s been feeling that way since spring break. He said he didn’t want to hurt me so he was trying to gather his thoughts. I told him that I wanted us to work out, that we could work on this together after taking a break from each other to “find out what we wanted with each other“, but only if he was willing. Honestly in hindsight I don’t know if I said the right things there but I checked in with him twice over the next month once every two weeks, he responded to the first one and ignored the second. I decided about 3 weeks ago that if I got nothing from him by May 11th then I’d break up with him. As it came around I came more to terms with the fact that I’d have to breakup with him, even though I was still heartbroken (and still am) but the day after I broke up with him he said he messaged me saying that while he was still thinking things through, he felt was ready to give me “definitive answers“ to any questions I had. I stupidly asked him “Can you walk me through what’s been going on with you during the past 2 months? Spring break included.“ and the next day he replied and said he was writing a message with answers to all the questions that he thought I had. The day after that he messaged me saying that I will be getting that message he was writing via email soon but it’s been 2 days now and I’m kind of just wanting to send a final message (with me clarifying that we’re done and that I will be taking space) to him before going into no contact. I’m hurt and the trust I had in him has been destroyed. Because of how all of this went down I have this thought in my head that he’s regret it a couple months down the road but I know that isn’t really something I should stick to. I feel like I’m a different person now, like i don't have a lot of motivation to do things that I wanna do, it’s been getting better but it’s still just temporary and I start to get exhausted around 7pm regardless of how much I sleep at night.
What do I do? Any Advice?
(Sorry for my rambling)