u/Fun_Put6736

My wife passed away on Sunday night. She was my daughter’s care provider. She’d fill out the timecard, I’d approve it in my daughter’s name.
Can I take over as her provider now even though I already have a full time job? (FWIW, the logistics would work just fine, I just need to know about the policy.
Also, she forgot to fill out the timecard on Saturday. Should I just login on her phone and do that in her place? Or is there another, better way to handle that?

2-3 bottles a night for the past 8 years or so. That’s what she’d been drinking. Lately, she was getting a lot of mucus up and having issues breathing at night. She had to sleep with the (adjustable) bed up, which I HATED as I can’t sleep like that.
About 3 weeks ago the doctor told her she had gastritis. Then it took a couple days, but she finally started taking her Antabuse. In the last couple weeks, she had two nights when she chose to drink (usually, I was lucky if I got one sober night in that time), one of which was Saturday, then we went out yesterday and had a nice day, but she forgot her pill, so drank again last night.
Now, none of it matters. She passed away a short time after going to bed last night.
I know the reality that the upswing was likely temporary, but I’d like to think (pretend?) it wasn’t. That she finally turned a corner. I’d normally discourage someone from fooling themselves, but I think I’ll hold on to this one if you don’t mind.
Now, I’ve got some grieving to do. And an adult daughter with special needs to take care of (plus another who’s about to graduate college). I’ve got a new life to figure out and rebuild.
I just needed somewhere to vent about how much this all sucks.

I’m quite sure I’m doing everything wrong but I have no idea what the right way is.
My Q is a regular drinker. Averages about 2.5 bottles of wine when she drinks. She does occasionally manage to take her Antabuse (about once a week) and takes the night off.
We have a system where before she drinks, she gives me her phone and purse to hide so she can’t order more. So she’ll go to the store or I’ll go for her because it seems easier than fighting about it and buy 2 bottles.
As you can guess, this doesn’t work very well. Once she’s almost done with that second bottle, she starts to freak out at the idea of “sobering up” and decides she needs more in order to be successful the next day.
This is where I’m really stuck. I know I can’t control her or fight her not to - at least I shouldn’t. But just giving her her phone and shrugging my shoulders seems wrong. So does getting it for her - God help me I’ve done that too as I HATE the idea of wasting the extra $20 to have a bottle delivered. She’s threatens to walk the quarter mile to the store in her nightgown when I’ve tried pushing back which I can’t let her do since that doesn’t seem safe.
I know 90% (or more) of this is the wrong way to do this. I’ve done my first Alanon meeting, but I need a better way to maneuver this until I get deeper into the program. Any help is greatly appreciated.