Trying to quit
I've been off the wagon for about 4 months. I've maybe quit 50 times in my life. For those 50 I have gotten Diazepam to help me get through the withdrawal. Been through 2 different rehab facilities.
I have never had a seizure or had DTs. Just the regular sweats and high heart beat and blood pressure.
I was sober for 2 years. Last time I quit my doctor said he would not prescribe me any diazepam. I went to the hospital and was reminded that they do not prescribe diazepam. However another doctor overheard and he prescribed me 120 10mg diazepam LOL. Now, I took about 20, got through the withdrawals and threw the rest out. Deep regret but I was afraid of getting addicted to them.
Earlier this summer I fell off the wagon. I want to taper. I've tried before and failed. I once got down to 2 beers a night but it excelled back up to ugly numbers. Right now I am drinking 12 4% beers per night for the last week. I only drink at night and drink from around 10pm to 4am. For the past 4 days I have been waking up at 7am.
I do want to stop again. I'm happy being sober. Right now tho I don't go into work and I'm afraid to do any work around the house like cleaning and cutting the grass cause my heart is racing and I'm afraid to have a heart attack. I drink at least 6 bottles of water a day, when I wake up I drink a gatorade. I eat well, I don't eat fast food and I take a multivitamin everyday. Whenever I get a blood test my vitamin B is always high.
Certain nights I can get down to 10 beers, even 8. But when I wake up so early I have another beer to relax me and try to get back to sleep. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
Is there advice anyone can give me to go about tapering better. I cut the hard liqour out, cut the wine, and went down to light beers to have better "control".
I've been drinking for probably 14 years.
Thanks in advance.
FYI: I may have left out some details or info and I apologize.
Edit: I should preface that the beers are 473ml each.