r/dryalcoholics

I keep seeing posts from Er nurses saying vodka death is the worst and that liver/kidney failure is happening more often to people in their 30’s. I’m 27 and basically been a daily drinker since I was 18. I quit a few times in between but I have just been off the handle recently and cannot stop now matter what I tell myself.

I never really felt physically dependent on alcohol but recently I think I’ve been drinking more than usual so who knows if I’m at risk or not. I don’t know why I keep running back to the bottle when I know it’s legit going to kill me if I don’t stop.

I've noticed my appetite for really social events has really dropped off. I've noticed I get overstimulated easily and get irritable. I don't care for noisy parties as much. I presume my drinking made me feel like environments were tolerable. Anyone else discover this after quitting?

I've been off the wagon for about 4 months. I've maybe quit 50 times in my life. For those 50 I have gotten Diazepam to help me get through the withdrawal. Been through 2 different rehab facilities.

I have never had a seizure or had DTs. Just the regular sweats and high heart beat and blood pressure.

I was sober for 2 years. Last time I quit my doctor said he would not prescribe me any diazepam. I went to the hospital and was reminded that they do not prescribe diazepam. However another doctor overheard and he prescribed me 120 10mg diazepam LOL. Now, I took about 20, got through the withdrawals and threw the rest out. Deep regret but I was afraid of getting addicted to them.

Earlier this summer I fell off the wagon. I want to taper. I've tried before and failed. I once got down to 2 beers a night but it excelled back up to ugly numbers. Right now I am drinking 12 4% beers per night for the last week. I only drink at night and drink from around 10pm to 4am. For the past 4 days I have been waking up at 7am.

I do want to stop again. I'm happy being sober. Right now tho I don't go into work and I'm afraid to do any work around the house like cleaning and cutting the grass cause my heart is racing and I'm afraid to have a heart attack. I drink at least 6 bottles of water a day, when I wake up I drink a gatorade. I eat well, I don't eat fast food and I take a multivitamin everyday. Whenever I get a blood test my vitamin B is always high.

Certain nights I can get down to 10 beers, even 8. But when I wake up so early I have another beer to relax me and try to get back to sleep. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Is there advice anyone can give me to go about tapering better. I cut the hard liqour out, cut the wine, and went down to light beers to have better "control".

I've been drinking for probably 14 years.

Thanks in advance.

FYI: I may have left out some details or info and I apologize.

Edit: I should preface that the beers are 473ml each.

I just want an app that you can put a starting date in and it increments by one everyday. no submitting emails, no congratulatory coins, no words of wisdoms, etc. Something simple

I am just kind of sick with having to count one-by-one on a calendar when I’m just trying to figure out how many days off drinking it’s been. thank you!

So this happened to me a couple years ago, kinda funny in hindsight. I was prescribed naltrexone for my alcoholism and while I was in alcohol WD, I took my first pill (spoiler, didn't work for me after trying for more than a year).

What I neglected to remember is I was also using kratom daily (like a lot), so the nalt put me into acute kratom WD as well an hour after I took the pill and realized oh fuck this isn't just my regular WD.

It was wild shit, I was uncontrollably yawning constantly for like the entire day. My legs and arms were itchy and spasmy and cramping. I had to take huge dumps felt like my body was ejecting from my ass. And of course it hurt like hell plus with the other WD. Boy do I not want to ever get hooked on an opiate!

Friends, if you use kratom do NOT take naltrexone you gotta kick that shit for a while first lol

Today I am 29 days alcohol free. I have been feeling so incredibly bored, lonely and tempted this weekend.

Socially nothing has changed, I never did much socializing aside from drinking at home and talking to my friends or family on the phone (all of which live in different states). I have hobbies, all of which I do at home. I’m single. I can be a little shy at first, so the idea of going to a meet up or something feels like a stretch.

I quit daily drinking so that I would force myself outside of the house, to have a more fulfilling life. I knew this boredom would come and I would have to face it. Here I am and all I want to do is grab a six pack and drink, at home, alone.

Update: I didn’t drink! 30 days tomorrow!! Thanks for all the replies, genuinely helped me so much! Played a video game, cooked. Next step.. some sort of social life.

I told myself I was quitting and would give myself one last hurrah that was supposed to be just a couple of drinks and ended with me puking out of an uber and losing my bra at a bar so that’s fun lol. I was on such a health kick and starting a new job in a week and had set a date to stop drinking and gave myself permission to have one last drinking night and of course I took that to mean complete self annihilation. I don’t know why I did this to myself. I am now feeling so much shame and regret and it was not worth it. I just wish I could have a normal relationship with alcohol and clearly this has shown I can’t. I shouldn’t have even given myself permission it was like I took that to mean an all out bender when it should’ve just been a fun night with friends. Never again.

For people who have been trying to quit or cut back, I’m curious about something beyond the actual drinking.

Was there a point when you started thinking about what you wanted your life to look like, what you were interested in, or what you wanted to work toward?

Did that happen pretty early, or did you need a period where just getting through the day and handling basic stuff had to come first?

And looking back, was there anything that helped you know you were ready for something more?

I’m a 21 y/o college female who has never had a healthy relationship with alcohol. Since I started college, I can’t remember going more than ~5 days without drinking. My drinking was never casual. It was sneaky. And it was to cope with trauma and stress. Most recently, I’ve been consuming a 1.75 L of shitty vodka every 3-4 days. Normally 3. And normally drinking throughout the day. My addiction shows in my health, both mental and physical. My memory is shot, my psoriasis is worse than it ever has been, small scratches and bruises take forever to heal, my anxiety and depression is through the roof, I haven’t slept through the night in probably 2 years without the help of liquor to knock me out. Plus I’ve gained over 25 pounds in the past two years.

All I do is lie to myself and others. I’ve become a shell of who I use to be. I’m ashamed to admit I’ve only tried to get sober maybe 3 times and have actually made it more than 2-3 days. But this time I really want to be successful. It’s gonna mean fessing up to my family and friends, removing myself from the typical college hangouts where I’m surrounded by temptation, and a lot of determination on my part. I know I should get medical help detoxing, but I can’t afford to miss classes. I also can’t afford to die from withdrawals. I’m just so fucking lost. But I know what I need to do. I can’t live the rest of my life like this. I’m absolutely an alcoholic, but I’m also an artist and a great cook and an avid writer. Alcohol has made me stupid and fat and unmotivated to do anything I once loved. So it’s time to get real with myself.

My main concerns are the physical and mental effects I have experienced (horrible back/neck/shoulder pain, chest tightness, weird tingling in my upper right back, crazy fucking nightmares, anxiety, insomnia…). I get so anxious thinking about what is to come as I continue detoxing. I just want to be okay. I want to be the person I know I can be.

If anyone has advice for me, especially in navigating the physical symptoms, please leave it in a comment or message me. Honestly I’m just so scared. The physical pain is enough to make me want to go back to the vodka, but I’ve already experienced kindling enough to know I can never drink again. That’s just my life at this point. I got myself here, and it’s up to me to get myself out.

I went to an inpatient detox and got treated with Valium, amongst many other drugs that help with coming down. First night was…well, I wouldn’t say hell. But it wasn’t comfortable. Sweating, shaky, insomnia (I already don’t sleep enough even when sober and especially while drinking.)

Second day was a bit better, just laid in bed all day. I didn’t plan this stupid trip out well enough because I was drunk when I packed and I brought one pair of clothes, no charger, no soaps, etc.

Today is day 3 and I felt fine but just ended up catching up on sleep. Dozing in and out and sleeping for maybe 20-30 mins/time. Then they come check vitals. Doctor said this morning if everything looks good I’ll be out tomorrow. My only issue is that I’m an hour away from home and don’t have a ride (until later in the day) so if they let me out early I might just have to uber somewhere close and just sit around. Maybe I’ll try to go to a Burger King or McDonald’s or something and eat some real food.

Anyways, just expressing my struggles. They’re tapering me off the Valium, I haven’t had one in close to 6 hours I believe, if not longer, so I doubt I’ll get anymore tonight. But the 72 hour mark is the goal right?