just how do you stop the anxiety. i'm not sober yet but trying to taper and i JUST woke up and i'm so anxious that i could throw up. my heart has been racing all night. i hate this i literally just want to cry and throw up and cry some more
that's pretty much it. i'm crying. i'm grieving the life i could have had. i can't drive, i'm unemployed because of this disease (trying to change that), i've lost friends because my epilepsy is "too hard" for them, i was almost kicked out of a concert because i was looking at the floor to avoid the flashing lights and the security guard thought i was nodding off or blackout drunk or something... i just hate this. this is barely a life i hate this i wish i could have anything else
i think this sub needs to add a flair that just says "depressing" or "concerning"
i've already eaten half of it but still 10/10 better than hospital food lol
**and yes i know this isn't technically sushi**
i am currently dealing with the consequences of falling in the bathroom yesterday. i don't really remember. i just know i slammed my head (waiting for that black eye to form) and i also slammed my entire side. there is a huge bruise forming on my hip/stomach right now. i remember losing my balance. then i was out. then i was crawling on the floor unable to get up, calling out to my mom to help me.
i am so tired of this. i am so tired of the black eyes and bruises and hospital visits. not to mention that my doctor hasn't replied to my numerous requests to refill my seizure meds so i'm out of meds.
i wish i was normal. i want to be normal so badly. i want to have a job and drive a car. i want to last a month out of the hospital. i want to not be covered in bruises. i want to not almost constantly have a black eye.
i hate this.