shrimp with spicy mayo and cup of sludge (honorary guest: can of red bull)
Pretzels and Bombay Sapphire Gin on the rocks
Going to rant a bit here, sorry. So, I understand some people no matter how much people they have in their life they still feel lonely. But the thing with this friend is that I always try so hard to be in good terms with her, I text her and try to hang out but she either ignores my texts or never ends up able to met up. In 2 years of friendship we have hanged out like, 5 times at most? And It's fine, I've never complained to her face about this. Even when in the first year she'd never agree to hang out with me while i saw her hanging out all the time with her other friends. Even when she started ignoring me more and more, I never complained. She has treated me awfully at times, she has done awful things to me too that I haven't said a word about. But the thing with the post she made is that It was a picture of something WE cooked together in MY house. The picture was taken inside MY house and she comes here posting about having no friends? Am I so unworthy that even after all of this, she can't consider me a friend? Am I just a filthy cockroach she doesn't even know that exists? Is she mocking me? Does she only look down on me? Why, why her, who doesn't struggle nearly as much as I to talk to other people, why her who talks to other people besides me, while I only have her. I dont even have online friends. I have no friends besides her. It makes me feel like a disgusting animal no one ever acknowledges. I wonder If anyone is ever going to love me without wanting to take advantage of me. I wonder If the day will come when im actually seen as a person.
Rant over. Sorry again. I havw a personality disorder.
I feel like my mind is completely broken from lack of interactions with non-taken women and men.
apple pie
26M KHHV. Love and connections are what all humans seek. Somehow this wasn't built for me, so I don't think I'm human anymore, I feel more like a reptilian. There is this $uicideboy$ music that says:
>I should have been a vermillion reptilian living in a swamp (At least I'd have scales to protect me from the pain)
And I lowkey relate. I know exactly what led me to this point, but I can't change it. It's stronger than me. If I lived in the US where I can easily buy a gun, I probably would have blowed my shit smooth off.
it’s starting to get kind of funny i get a consistent 2-3 matches daily on free hinge but literally can’t text any of them for any longer then like a week. i’ve tried switching it up but holy shit it never works. my only friends are the weird animals i own and im kind of a loser otherwise if that’s important to the topic. quote from a real girl i texted, “i don’t like you or your boring personality, you just have a nice face”, am i just turbo autistic? do i kill myself? had one gf at 14 but still khhv. shoutout worker that gives me his employee discount at popeyes because im the only customer who speaks spanish. love you big bro
Lately began falling in love with her ever since I started watching the anime edgerunners. She could be the best female woman out there
Bratwurst dressed as hotdogs because no matter how much I profess my love for Germany and her people, I will forever be from America.
Georgian food with friend
Biscoff chocolate I got for 200 days clean
I dont know why but I dread personal hygiene. Im fine cleaning anything else, dishes, floors, clothes, dusting off, but cleaning myself? Hate it. I only do it whenever i have somewhere to be, but told myself Id atleast do it once a week.