shrimp with spicy mayo and cup of sludge (honorary guest: can of red bull)
to share some context for my current position:
2 years ago, transferred to new school. everyone already knew each other and had pre established friend groups. i was super depressed, no one really ASKED for me in their clique so i was like "okay sure i guess". since then i havent spoken to anyone but over the years i got better and got me a tight friend group.
problem is, now i really wanna be more social, more public... i might dare to say popular. but i already have the reputation of a 'loner', and since everyone already thinks im kind of weird whenever i try and approach people they just scan me with their eyes and give the most cold, short response ever 🥀. even with people who are pretty outgoing i think they just assume that i prefer to be left alone....
since summer started i wanna really develop my social skills, to at least get the awkwardness out of the way, but i figured reputation would be an issue... so what do i do?
ive only been reading one side of theory as a whole, but ive been curious to kind of expand my knowledge of the issues presented in marxs work. all criticism of communism that ive seen so far could literally just be fixed by reading capital so what are some books that actually gave everyone here something to think about? i wanna use the knowledge for debates and such
just finished a binge, feel horrible. all started when i went out to eat to tgi fridays for my friends birthday. ive been trying to be more normal around food so i try and order stuff i like. i like desserts a lot, me and my friend share one. i go back home, find out that that small little brownie was 1000 calories. my deficit is 1200. i got upset. the binge began. i recall being there with my partner. it was him whom i planned to share a sweet with initially. he got himself ONE burger for the main course and couldnt move after finishing it. i got the exact same thing and unlike him even if i was full i was fighting myself to leave out the fries. he refused to share the dessert and i got INCREDIBLY mad
i just fucking hate skinny people who dont do anything im so genuinely done i exercise 4 times a week i cant eat anything i like otherwise ill get out of control and gain all the weight i lost back meanwhile theres people out there sitting on their asses and just eating shit and they dont have to do ANYTHING
WORST PART THEY JUST GET FUCKING FULL. THEY EAT SOMETHING THEY LIKE. THEY THINK "OKAY THAT WAS NICE I DONT WANT MORE OF IT" AND MOVE ON. THATS JUST HOW THEY FUCKING WORK. WHY DONT I WORK LIKE THAT. EVERY FUCKING PERSON I KNOW CLAIMS TO "LIKE FOOD" BUT I DONT SEE THEM FINISHING THEIR ENTIRE PORTIONS. OR STRUGGLE WITH PULLING YOURSELF AWAY FROM IT.
I GET IT SOME PEOPLE ARE NATURALLY JUST NOT BIG BACKS LIKE I AM I GET IT IM FUCKING FAT AND OBSESSIVE OVER FOOD BUT IM SO SICK OF IT WHY CANT I BE NORMAL I CAN NEVER FUCKING ENJOY ANYTHING IM SO SICK OF MYSELF
im going out tomorrow but im trying to diet. i considered looking at the menu that they have for the restaurants macros and almost got a heart attack. ordering a fucking salad would make me miserable and is just generally a humiliation ritual so how much of the cheeseburgers calories are the bun?
