Am I getting catfished, or is her explanation actually believable?
I’ve been talking to a girl online for about 10 months. We’ve texted consistently, but there are some things that have been bothering me.
She has never FaceTimed me. She’s only called me once, and the call lasted about 13 seconds before it ended. Since then, no phone calls, no video calls, and no voice notes.
She says she lives with her ex, who she describes as controlling and abusive. According to her, he financially supports her, has cameras in the house (even in the bathroom), and has software installed on her phone that lets him see everything she does. She says that’s why she can’t call me, FaceTime me, or even send voice messages—even if she’s in the bathroom.
Her explanation for why she’s still living with him is that they were about to get engaged, but he cheated on her. She says she hates him and wants nothing to do with him romantically anymore, but she stays because he financially supports her. She also says she’s waiting until she gets the engagement ring she believes he still owes her before she finally leaves.
She does send me pictures, but since we’ve never really talked live, I don’t know if they’re actually her or if they’re old pictures.
One thing that makes this even more confusing is that she knows a lot of people in our religious community. Over the months, she’s told me things about people and situations that were later confirmed by others, so she’s clearly connected to the community in some way. That’s what makes this whole situation so strange—it doesn’t feel like someone who completely made up their identity.
She’s also never asked me for money, gift cards, or anything financial, so it doesn’t seem like a typical romance scam.
I’m trying to be empathetic because I know abusive relationships and digital surveillance are real. At the same time, after 10 months, it feels strange that there hasn’t been a single normal phone conversation or video call.
Does this sound like someone who could genuinely be trapped in a controlling situation, or does this sound more like a catfish using an elaborate story to avoid live communication? If you’ve experienced something similar, what ended up happening?