r/Romancescam

Hey Guys,

I am a man who always wanted to build a family. Not into hook-ups either.

Have always had long term relationships and always tried to make it work. Almost got married once. And for the past few years all I got matched with are girls who just wanted casual, short term relationship or just plain scammers(I never fell for one).

Since it wasn't working out in my country, I decided to try elsewhere. Tried a couple of countries. Had several matches. But, conversations lead no where or scams.

Decided to try Chisinau, Moldova, matched with a girl(from Odessa, Ukraine. Odessa is close to Chisinau.) on March 31. Decently(gracefully) dressed pics(no skimpy clothes etc.). Initially, would get a couple of messages and vanish. About a couple of weeks ago, she replies asking can we move the conversation to telegram as she isn't active on tinder. We exchanged IDs and have been continuously chatting(around 20-30 messages per day). And these are proper conversations(e.g. How AI has affected work). We exchange day to day things, pics too now(just selfies. nothing naughty).

We had a video call (she wanted to do one too.). I was so surprised by her body language(seemed very genuine). Smiles through and through. I casually mentioned to her that she is very easy to talk to. She got offended thinking that I am calling her easy. It was cute.

She knows very little English(still learning) and uses google translate to text me. I just started learning Ukrainian.

What she says so far:

- she is looking for serious relationship

- doesn't have a dad. Mom and Grandmom in a village.

- left village as there were no opportunities.

- broke up with her ex due to his regular drinking and has tried drugs and didn't want to give up.

- she works as a receptionist(has 24hr shifts twice a week). Doesn't fret the hard working. Whenever I tell she works very hard, her reply always is I don't have to work for the next 3 days.

- she is studying economics and banking (1 more month to finish). Has a ~550eur loan for college.

- has a passport.

- checks up on me daily.

- has never asked me for money or any other kind of help.

- isn't online 24/7(good). Replies within 2-3 hours usually.

- doesn't have social media. Says insta banned her account when she posted about the war. I have done reverse image search and found no profiles with her pics.

All our conversation has us missing each other.

The conversations feel very genuine. Doesn't agree with me on everything. But, our mindset matches a lot! Be it work, what we want from life, drugs etc.

Before anyone asks, I have dated pretty girls from where I am. So, it's not her looks that has me in a fix. It's her personality. This kind of a match I may be, had like 3(2 turned into long term relationships) times in the years I have dated.

All this feels too good to be true.

I am in no space in life where I would want to waste time talking to someone and be let down later.

Has anyone had any similar experience that ended up being a long game scam? or Is there something I am missing that would indicate this as a scam? Or Should I do anything to gauge? If you have any questions feel free to ask.

Also, I was planning on a vacation to Chisinau in August. So, now I am thinking, might as well do it early and see if I can meet her(Odessa - Chisinau is 3hrs by bus). I obviously don't want to go to Ukraine due to the war. Would give me some clarity about her. Is it a good idea?

Sorry about the long post. Thanks in advance for any advice.

My dad is in his 70s, divorced and alone. His first scammer came from a dating app. It started like all romance scams. She told him that her father died and he left an inheritance to her of over a million dollars but needed legal help and she would give him all the money back plus more.... he gave her over 120k, 75k were in personal loans wire transfered to her. I notice weird zelle transactions on his account and he said everything was fine but then one day he was off and thays when I uncovered everything. The person stole photos from an adult actress. I broke the news to him was so upset about it but understood.... as I tried to fight the banks for financial exploitation (to no success) he started talking with another scammer. This time though, he thought he was talking to and dating the at&t commercial girl. The photos were awful and they used ai to record videos that to a normal perso you could catch. I sent numerous videos about how these people do this and he stopped it. I thought we were good and then he was hospitalized and I was alerted that he believes he was in a relationship with WNBA player Sophie Cunningham..... the person also alerted Adult Protective Services. This one is the most concerning, he has thousands of dollars in Apple gift cards. I addressed my concerns with my dad and he truly believes this one is real. She is waiting on her nike deal from Michael Jordan. 🤦‍♀️and hasnt been paid by the wnba..... I explained how this works and they use AI and the whole nine yards to make him believe. He truly believes he is dating her. He said he will meet her and my family and APS are afraid he will try to go to her games since he doesnt live too far away. At this point I am so fed up and over dealing with this. Im POA and I dont even want to do it anymore because he has manipulated me and my family and continues to lie and keep up with it. I dont know what to do anymore. Is it worth fighting? Or just let him learn his lessons

I'm out of ideas on how to salvage my mom from this scammer hell. Any advice is appreciated.

About a year ago my mother started talking to someone on Facebook. A profile based of a popular dog trainer reached out to her after she had liked a post and they began to chat about dogs etc.

We found out 8 months back and told her to cut it out and that it was a scam, showed her a few examples of why, and left it at that thinking she'd be reasonable.

6 months back we found out she was talking again and had a serious talk about cutting this out and that it's not healthy. Explained the concept of romance scams and went in depth to make sure she knew what was up.

Over the next week we found out she was still in contact via Whatsapp and gave away 7k via apple gift cards. We confiscated her phone and blocked access to the Internet and gave her a new number. Reported all of the info to local police / ftc / etc. She went ballistic. Would stare at the ceiling for hours, throw the flip phone we got her etc.

She finally calmed down a bit, went to a crime victims center, went to a regular therapist, etc. We also talked extensively about the problem and how to resolve it.

Dad didn't want to do couples therapy but they seemed kinda okay again so didn't seem like that big of a deal.

Cut to last week and we return the phone with explicit condition that she not contact the guy. My brother also got power of attorney and hooked up all of the financial accounts so they're easily monitored. Found out yesterday that she immediately went on Facebook, contacted the guy, and sent him $100 in apple gift cards.

Broke the news to our dad who basically said fuck it they're divorcing; they're both late 70s.

It's obviously a result of years of neglect in their relationship and my dad could absolutely be doing more but yeah sucks that my mom can't be convinced not to talk to a scammer.

This is a warning about a romance scammer named Nick Turon or Nick Lawson from Australia. Many many women across the USA, Australia, and the UK, and probably elsewhere have reported experiences of having their life savings stolen from him. In the USA he has been known to be in Atlanta and Charleston - please beware and turn him into the authorities if you come across him. He uses emotional manipulation and is usually talking to dozens sometimes even 50 women at once and is running a romance scamming business. He is a white blonde Australian man in his late 30s, and he is currently traveling internationally including Bali and parts of Europe. BEWARE, Be SAFE and do NOT Help him or give him any money, please report him to the FBI, or relevant fraud authorities in your country. if found. He is currently being investigated for all he has stolen. Please be extremely cautious. Please stay safe and protect yourself and your money he is a predator on women.

My now ex boyfriend went to Korea (his dream country). We are both french and I always knew he fetishized a lot asians but I trusted him. He confessed two days after coming back to France. I can't help but think it's weird.

This woman has no job, no kids, no nothing, which surprises me for a country reputed for being strict.

They met on tinder which "is used by tourists in Korea to make friends when you travel alone" (I don't believe but i've gotta ask: should I believe him?).

They spent three days together and did it the third time. From what he told me, she made him discover good spots. They are apparently together (I asked him, he said yes). They spent three days together. Three days.

Since he came back, they kept contact on "kakaotalk". They apparently talk everyday. I don't think they will be able to talk a lot because of the time difference but to be honest, i'm frightened this relationship last. I don't understand. Everything about this seems fishy, is this a way to scam him? What does she want? Is she fetishizing him? What does she want from him?She loves Korea and don't plan to move in France, and he is too dumb to learn korean or find a job there. Is this normal behavior coming from this woman?

PS:I know his behavior isn't normal either but honeslty, I don't care. I just wonder why he take it seriously.

EDIT: thank you for all of your comments.

First, I thought it was obvious but i need to clear it out: i may have certain sterotypes because I never actually been interested in Korean culture, that is why I decided to post on this r: to see if it's normal to get that fast into a relationship, so yes i may have certain stereotypes and thank you for educating me on this country, no need to be mean tho, because i'm not trying to be. I would appreciate it if someone could inform me of what it's like dating in korea, expectations of men from women, is long distance relaitonships are common and does it work it ou in majority of the cases even when both don't plan on moving into another country, what is different in Korea from european culture, does a lot of women fetishize foreigners or even french people? I know I shouldn't care, but i am genuinely curious about it. Also, I don't think it's the girl's fault, I entirely blame him, but I was just trying to understand what happened, if I missed out anything. It is a desperate move but isn't it normal to try to rationalize things when the person you trusted the most betrayed you?

Second, thank you for telling me this relationship is not normal. I was being used and now I know it. I didn't know it before but now... I know how age gap relationships can hurt and why it's wrong, it's part of learning lessons. I understand it's not a scam, it's just two weird people getting together. It's normal to be angry and want the absolute worse for them right now, but time will pass. I'll be okay. Thanks for all the kind comments and advices. I wish you'd all know what kind of man he is. Well, he was with someone very much younger than him (me) so i'll give you the answer: immature. That's why I don't think this relationship will last. Some of you might say this is not my problem, I agree, but i think it's pretty normal too to be angry, and i will care less and less as time flows. I gave everything to him, if only you'd know how pityful I was, thank you again, because now is the time to stop.

My friend met a " US Military" man online from Ghana. So far she has traveled there to meet him, but, of course he had an excuse that he couldn't meet up with her.

Its the typical scam that he needs money, she sends it and he sends her a check that bounces.

Now he's got her wiring money to him so he can buy land for them to build a house in Ghana.

I've told her she is being scammed, showed her all sorts of youtube videos of people falling for the same situation and she won't stop sending money.

Ive given up.

Can a HSE independent contractor be unable to leave offshore oil rig in Scotland because of lack of funds to buy a new oil pump machine?

I work as a Fraud Prevention Analyst with many years of experience in banking. Our institution has a very advanced fraud monitoring system, and analysts regularly block suspicious card and wire transactions. In roughly 90% of cases, we successfully stop the transfer before the money is lost.

The frustrating part is what happens next.

Even after customers are clearly informed that they are victims of a scam, many still insist on sending the money. They sign liability forms acknowledging the risk and proceed with the transfer anyway, or they withdraw the funds and send them through other methods.

Romance scams are by far the worst for this. Our department prevents the vast majority of these fraud attempts, yet many victims still continue sending money despite repeated warnings and evidence that they are being manipulated.

At some point it stops being a technical fraud-prevention problem and becomes a psychological/social engineering problem. No matter how many systems, alerts, blocks, or interventions are in place, some victims are so emotionally invested that they will find a way to continue.

Today, I had to prove who I was in order to access information about myself on a federal government website. It took about 5 minutes. This proves that there is technology out there that can be used to keep scammers off or dramatically reduce their presence on social media and dating apps. These platforms simply do not wish to pay for it—which is a bit odd because it would do so much to increase their credibility with users. I wonder what exactly is behind them just not caring about it. The one time I tried to report a fake profile (of a celebrity, who was trying to phish me) to Instagram, I got to the end of its process and got an error message. Pointless.

My mother’s online boyfriend who lives across the country owns a construction company and apparently is a “truck guy”. He is constantly working outside of the country and they have never met. He has sent her a car key to a BMW that was gifted to him after finishing a job and doesn’t want it because it’s not a truck. How is this going to backfire for my mother?

My mother has been scammed at least three times. From an online boyfriend who got her bank account information and cleared out my parents account to a fake investment scam that she sent money to. Can’t forget the time she laundered money for a man in Alaska. She’s been talking to this man across the country for a few months now and is convinced he is real because he has a family TikTok account and FaceTimes her but everything just seems too good to be true. Is it?

My dad is currently getting pulled into what appears to be a pretty sophisticated romance scam, and I’m trying to stop it before it gets deeper emotionally or financially.

For those of you who have had a parent or loved one go through this, what do you wish you had done or known earlier that could’ve helped snap them out of it before they became fully invested?

Right now I’m finding that facts and obvious inconsistencies alone don’t always work once there’s emotional attachment involved. I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have actually been through this and what approaches helped vs made things worse.

Things I’m especially curious about:

- What were the earliest signs you overlooked?

- What finally made your parent realize it was fake?

- Did confronting them directly help or push them further in?

- Were there any practical steps that protected them financially/emotionally early on?

- Anything you wish you’d done sooner?

Appreciate any insight. This has honestly been pretty heartbreaking to watch unfold.

[removed]