What do I do?
Hello Reddit! I’m a 21F and I’ve recently been reflecting on a friendship I have with a friend/ex-coworker of 3yrs. I notice that whenever I get around her/talk to her it’s usually in an aggressive manner but I don’t talk/act like that with my other friends. With my other friends, I’m extremely goofy/silly.
In 2023, I worked at a retail store in a mall and that’s when I met my friend Kelly(23F). I had a small crush on her but nothing serious. Everyone has a lil work crush🤷🏽♀️. I only worked at this job for one summer (3 months) and during that time, Kelly and I’s dynamic started to stand out to me. She would (& still is) always be curious to know my business, particularly about who I’m hooking up with. There were times I was reluctant to tell her because we weren’t that close & didn’t trust her enough. She would then take my phone when I was on register and run around the store so I couldn’t chase after her. She would go through my phone and find the answers I was reluctant to give her.
Shes also a lesbian which is extremely important because she loves to talk about my mom. For example, she’ll say things like “is your mom home?”, “I’ll help your fine ass mom”, “if your mom needs anything, I’ll gladly help her”. She would say these things with a flirty undertone and I’ve told her repeatedly that I don’t like hearing her talk about my mom that way because it makes me uncomfortable and to this day, she still does it.
She also speaks to me in an aggressive tone like “what’s up lil 🥷🏽” whenever we get otp. So naturally, I started to match her energy but I don’t like the feeling of anger sitting in my body, especially for no reason. Fast forward to present day, I still get aggressive around her. I feel like she tells my business to whoever she hooks up with and even now, she wants me to find new people to hook up with JUST so I can tell her about it. None of my other friends are EVERRR this enthusiastic about who I’m hooking up with so this is another reason I’m on the fence with Kelly. With my other friends, I usually tell them on my own but with Kelly, she practically begs it out of me (now sometimes I voluntarily tell her bc I feel like it & by that point the “tea” is old but it gets to a point you know?)
With alllll of that being said, I guess I’m asking if I should end it or just keep my distance? I don’t really talk to Kelly about serious life stuff & again, we usually talk about MY business. I know her business but not to the extent in which she knows mine. Some days she feels like a friend and other days she feels like an enemy, idk what to do yall