i love them so much

I wrote this song about my aunt who I am now no contact with. I was going through a terrible depression whilst living with her due to her treatment and my mental health exasperating each other. It was truly a lot.

But i found peace and understanding in my words, my voice and my guitar. This song is just a recorded moment of one of the many instances I came up for air. I hope you guys like it. I hope it touches you.

It’s called: ‘Me After You (2005)’

I was typing out the entire story of what happened but it got deleted. I’ll take that as a sign.

He is alive and I think the worst is over. i’m so thankful he’s alive but my heart breaks hearing him speak. My father is an intelligent man. A top engineer in my country and funny. He’s good at making people laugh. Good at mediating. Good at speaking. Now his speech is impaired and the doctor says it should come back eventually as it was a milder stroke.

My father is all of those things but he is also rugged, tough and durable. He’s strong. And I love him so much. I love him so much.

When my eldest brother called my best friend to tell me I need to come home asap because my dad is going to the hospital(my phone had died) I immediately went into this hardened and focused state. But it felt like a dam ready to give way at the same time. When I finally arrived home last night my step mother was packing things and getting my baby brothers ready to go by their grandmother.

I broke down for five minutes and had to lock in to take care of my crying baby brothers while she got ready and packed other things for the hospital. My dad went in at midnight. Only saw the doctor the next day at noon. I hate this country. I hate the healthcare system. I hate wealth inequality. I hate capitalism. I hate it all. I don’t know exactly what will happen now. But he’s on lots of medication.

Good news

His cognition and understanding is pretty much fine. He’s home now and has medication.

I’m afraid to speak to him more and see him and i’m ashamed of myself for it but I also understand and have compassion for myself. I hugged him already and he’s resting now. But my god. I feel so so so scared. That it will happen again. That his condition will worsen.

I want to end on an uplifting note and say: He will live and not die. He will live and not die. I will see my daddy get older and older until he goes peacefully of natural causes surrounded by us; the ones who love him.

Has anyone ever experienced something similar ? Is anyone here a stroke survivor even? Please, please, please. My heart is hurting. Any connection or advice or support would be of great help.

I’m trying to be strong and remain steadfast. I’m trying. Thanks for reading.

Edit:

Update

We had to rush him to the hospital. He can barely talk at all and his left side is droopy. Cognition and understanding is still there but it’s very hard for him to speak. Just few words or one at a time. This can’t be real. I was the only one who could remember his password after he couldn’t put it in his phone anymore. I couldn’t remember the first two times and then I finally got it. He taught only me it. I kissed him on his arms and hands and forehead and cheek.
Told him I love him and that he’s got this.

Hell is real. and we don’t have to die to go there.

I would love to connect with other slayr fans too. i appreciate this project, his artistry and personality so much. It’s been super inspiring watching him put out all this fresh, high quality music. i need others who i can yap about slayr with. i play his songs in every car I’m in and listen for hours until my earphones die. I also made an edit for Paint
a Picture because i love it so much. I put my 32 year old brother onto slayr. His mind was
genuinely blown. cus slayr the goat🐉 ⚔️

Yall seem mostly cool so I’m open. hmu :>

edit: these are my rankings for right now. my favorites change from song to song every few days. I love them all.

brain rot is just my modern day lobotomy.

who here likes to binge watch shows btw? Has anyone watched severance???

Edit:
i give myself fear boners by being as cringe as possible while under public observation. it’s a sick joke

I’ve been taking care of my baby brothers and the house quite often. My dad is really sick and still recovering so i genuinely have to dissociate and stretch into so many different tasks in one day.

it’s actually really nice seeing all of you post your selfies. i hope y’all have a good day :>

I used to feel this pic was bad but i like it now so im showing you guys.

Hi. I like music. I sing, write songs and compose with my friend in ableton. I love it a lot. I also really like reading, writing and baking the same dessert for every special occasion. I can show you my nails, listen to your life story, make cool stuff with you, set goals, be chuds, be beautiful, be gross wtv. let’s just be friends. 21F. D m me :)

got my hair and nails done for my birthday. my friends took me to lunch and we watched a movie. best friend also baked me super chocolate cupcakes.
the lithium has helped so much. i really wasn’t sure i was going to make it to 21.