I would like some advice.
I genuinely don’t know if I actually want to quit porn/masturbation or if I only want to quit because of the stigma around it.
The thing is: through a fetish community (it’s pretty niche), I ended up building an identity there. People know me, compliment my work, value my ideas, and I feel like I contribute something important. I can express my fantasies, create content around them, and honestly feel connected to others.
Part of me thinks:“What if this is just who I am? What if I’m overreacting because of all the ‘porn destroys your brain’ stuff online?” But another part of me is scared that I’m too deep into it to think clearly anymore. I’ve noticed things like: losing hours of my day,obsessively thinking about content/fantasies,creating new accounts impulsively, feeling anxious when I try to stop, And that’s what scares me most.
I can’t tell if I truly enjoy this in a healthy way, or if my brain has become so dependent on the dopamine/validation/fantasy that I’m rationalizing everything. Sometimes I compare it to a drug addict imagining their “dream life,” but even in that dream, the addiction is still at the center of everything.
I’m not even asking from a moral perspective. I’m asking from a psychological one:How do you tell the difference between genuine sexuality/creativity/community… and addiction that has slowly taken over your identity?
Has anyone here gone through something similar?