I (20M) am in a relationship (19F) for the last 1mo 21d but still think my “casi algo”(20F) is my person. Any advise?
As the title suggests, im in a sticky situation. I met the girl I’m currently in a relationship with, Karina(fake name)(19F) on instagram and has been going really well. We have gone on multiple dates and she’s met my immediate family already and is gets along with them. I really like her and being around her, and we match pretty well overall but she has some flaws like a shopping addiction(I’m very money conscious), she goes to the gym only when she feels like it(i go religiously), and shes not the best at communicating(I’m really big on communication and deep conversations)
I used to be in a relationship with Maria(fake name)(20F) for 3mo 9d last summer into fall. Lots of context for our situationship is needed but i will try to be concise. She is as close to the woman version to me as humanly possible. We went to HS together and i’ve wanted her since our Sophomore year; I should add we rarely chatted. We got back in contact when i found her Tinder profile(she later said she regretted making a profile because thats not something a Godly woman should do) and went from there. She had gotten out of a toxic/abusive 3yr relationship (21?M, ill call him Shitbag) a month prior to us getting back in contact. She’s a lover girl to the fullest and was severely attached to him. She had made it clear we weren’t going to be anything official for a while since she was still healing and i was totally fine with that. We never officially went on a date due to that fact but hung out a quite a few times. She had also said that she wanted a relationship with me once she gets over her ex and i tried to help in any way i could. Not my best quality but i did some digging and found she was talking good behind my back and found she REALLY liked me as well; which is probably why i still hold on.
We stopped talking for multiple reasons. 1, she has a therapist she goes to often and surprise to nobody she wanted Maria to not talk to anyone and heal first. And 2, our last time we saw each other she had to leave to pick up her sister and cousin from a concert and i fucked up bad by pressuring her into having sex. We had an adult conversation the next day and we decided it was better to finally go no contact. Before y’all ask, yes i still feel shitty and regret it every day.
I seriously haven’t wanted anyone more than her and i’ve had my fair share of relationships. I have multiple paragraph long texts saved in my notes app i want to send her but haven’t, and i have countless poems and writings for her i haven’t shared but want to. Currently she is back with Shitbag. She is emotionally intelligent and aware just like me so she knows how bad he is for her but cant get away and stay away. Yes i know i need to get over her but until i know for sure she doesn’t want me anymore i will still hold on, thats just how i am.
Any help or advice on if i should focus on my relationship now or break no contact will be greatly appreciated. Yes i know it’s totally not fair to Karina that I’m not over Maria and that I’m an asshole for it. Also yes I’m aware i need therapy, I’m in the process, just looking for any advice before hand.
Ask me questions if u want more details or if anything sounds confusing.
TLDR. Need advise if i should choose the girl I’m currently in relationship with or break no contact with my “casi algo” from last summer/fall who i still want more than anyone in the world.
Edit: I should’ve added that me and Maria were already getting hot when she stopped to think if she should go pick up her sister and cousin. Still doesn’t make what i did any better.