u/Gabbyof2

So me (F49) and my husband (M54) have been married for 33 yrs, together for 36. We like any couple have be had our issues but has always been something that wasn’t awful. So The story, maybe a little over a month ago, He came home me all super happy and being funny. This was unusual for him because he usually is grumpy because of work, so it was a nice change. Well, everyday before he goes to work, he stops and gets breakfast and drinks from a little store. One of the cashiers made him laugh real hard and he was about it. Well that continued every day and he started to refer to her as his waY side gf. I thought it was funny because i am always telling him To get a gf cause he drives me crazy. It was a complete joke at first. So the store she is working at is selling and the employees didn’t know what would happen. My husband is a nice guy and knows alot of people because of his job. He told her he would keep an ear out for her. The next day, she gave him her number. He was super happy cause no women had ever given him her number before. ( apparently forgetting that i did) so i just laughed it off. We even went as far as making a contract saying that he could do what he wanted with a gf as long as i know, and i get what i want, even i want. So fast forward to today. We were running errands and he made a comment that he was upset that he wasn’t going to get to see her again until Wednesday. I laughed but also thought about it differently. Then, i come to find out that they have been texting each other. Ok, so he has a friend. But, he lied to me. He told me her name was something different and also that he didn’t know her last name. Then in trying to make me feel better, tells me she looks like me but just younger and is able to do things i can’t anymore. ( I’m disabled). It hit me really hard. I got upset and said something. Then i called to see what they were texting and he told me he deleted the messages. That was after i asked. Then, he said he didn’t but he wasn’t going to show me. I trust him with all my heart, i just want to know why he is hiding it and what i have to do to make him feel that way. During this whole thing he is calling me names which i am used to but then he said i was to dumb to know how stupid i was being. That hurt bad. I don’t cry but i did after that and i still am now that he went to bed. He told me that what he said was wrong and then tried to guilt trip me by saying don’t worry about it anymore, that he isn’t going to be friends with her anymore. I really don’t care if he is friends with her, my best friend was a 63 yr old guy that i worked with. I never would do anything with him and he had to trust me being i would go to my male friends house and stay to help him out. He told me tonight he just let me go cause he didn’t care anymore. But not one time did i hide anything from him or lie to him. My phone was always there if he wanted to look. This women is 4 yrs older then our daughter. She is beautiful, i can understand a crush but also it doesn’t mean that he is allowed to just be happy because he saw her or talked to her and then act like i am over reacting. It really started this morning when we were joking around and he said we are like best friends that live in the me house. Like i said, it was my but he went by too far with the lying and hiding things. AIO and no, I’m not leaving my him so no one even suggest that. I just want my to know what i need to do to man me him feel that way. Or is it even something i need to do? HELP