Short, and intense versus long, but shallow relationships
Hey everyone. I've been seeing a lot of posts on how we seemingly cannot hold proper friendships or relationships with people for prolonged spans of time. Something along the lines of "I can't keep a friendship longer than two weeks".
I think that is a totally valid impression, of course, but I wanted to note something which is more akin to what I'm feeling. And I'm not too sure how close to (one of) the Schizoid prototypes that is. Anyway. I feel like I have more issues with deep and intense interpersonal relations, as opposed to having them for longer time. When I was in my undergrad, I would have peers who I'd see everyday, maybe even going to the cafeteria with them for lunch. These interpersonal relationships would continue for years, the point I'm making however is that they never deepened. It never became a friendship, just an acquaintanceship, so to say. Primarily because I didn't want it to become more than simply "knowing" someone very shallowly.
Just another perspective, so to say. Instead of failing at maintaining interpersonal relationships in terms of time, I don't mind the time aspect as much as I mind the actual depth of the relation. I could not imagine any actual deep friendship, and would label none of my acquaintances as actual friends. Whether I see them twice a week in the cafeteria, or once a year at some event.
This has become more of a rant, but I just wanted to put out there that for me schizoid isolation is less about not being able to hold connections for long enough, it's about not being able to hold connections with sufficient depth. Once someone approaches me and wants friendship, I shelter myself and ignore them.
Thank you for reading.