week 3 has been the hardest
I was using Nordic Spirit, a European brand nicotine pouch. a can of 6mg per day, all day every day. during sleep. Just constantly. I would get bored of eating just cause I wanted to use nicotine. when I woke up in the middle of the night, swap pouches.
ppl keep saying day 3 is the hardest and it gets better which makes me feel broken. for me week 1 was a breeze. the next few weeks are progressively worse and I feel like something is wrong with me.
so close to relapse today. I want to cry and scream. I only didn't because my housemate (who's been smoking for the last 20 years has also quit at the same time as me) and I went grocery shopping together. I tried to beat him to get to the nicotine counter early so I could covertly grab a fresh can but we ended up checking out at the exact same time. not the first time him being out with me was the only thing stopping me.
I feel like I'm losing it though.