Hi I don’t have bpd by my girlfriend dose and it had been a key part of our relationship ship. I’ve lost the trust of my girlfriend because I keep hurting her emotionally with my lack of communication skills paired with my adhd. Situations can easly spiral and I say my feelings in a way that she can’t understand or is taken negatively. Normally I rollback on these statements and repeat what I mean in a different way explaining myself better this has lead to 2 problems. Now I don’t want to ever hurt my baby but it happends unintentionally and I can’t take it back no mater what I do even if I re explained my feelings better I still hurt her and she doesn’t forget. This has caused her to not want to share anything sensitive with me to protect herself, and this has also caused her to love me less + doubt if me changing what I say is actually me trying to communicate or me trying to say what she wants to hear. I genuinely never want to cause my baby hurt and it still happens even with body language or desisens I make. This has bothered me for a while now and after a recent scuffle I need to ask about it.
What can I do? I have things I need to talk about and communicate effectively but I never want to hurt her. And as far as I can tell no mater what I do I won’t be able to regain her trust again. She used to share everything an I would give help I used to be an FP but I’m not anymore. All I want to do is hear from her and take care of her when things get tough but she dosent trust me. I take care of her every day I’m with her but she won’t come to me with her problems and she feels there for her and her alone. I don’t know what to do, I feel less and less like a boyfriend.
If anyone has any information for me or good study material for me to improve this please let me know. I’m starting therapy myself and I’m going to try to start her on it soon to. I just don’t want her to suffer with anything.
Thank you all.