Do I need help?
I'm so back and forth. The egoist in me keeps saying "I don't need help, I can do this on my own!" While there's a helpless part of me that keeps saying "I need help, what do I do?"
I'm trying really hard to change my narcissistic habits - lack of empathy, using other people, need for approval/admiration, etc - through DBT and ACT. But I don't really make any progress. I've been looking through these workbooks for years now, and only recently have I been able to remember mindfulness and emotion regulation practices.
I have friends who have been through these books, who have encouraged and helped me, and they're sick of me not making any progress. So I am, but I just don't know how to regain their trust, to actually know how they feel and do something about it.
I need to change. I have been listening more, and God it is painful to hear what I have put people through. It makes me miserable, but that isn't constructive. Or is it? Do I need to really feel the pain involved so that my body knows to never do these things again? I avoid things a lot in my life, and I worry that avoiding that pain is a problem too.
Do I need help, or just to really dive in deeper?