Day 69, needing help and advice!
Ignore my counter, it’s broken, but im 26M on day 69 of my reboot. I was pmo’ing pretty much every night from probably age 11 to 20. And I’ve been on my nofap journey since then. It’s been really weird so far now that I have a gf. Definitely happy to be this far along, I’ve only had 2 other streaks that were over 90 days, both hard mode. But I’ve had an orgasm with my girlfriend on days 42 and 65. I definitely don’t feel as good and ‘on the right track’ as I know I would doing hard mode with no orgasm, so I guess I’d just like to hear from someone that has fully rebooted with experience in both hard mode and easy mode. Did you notice a difference in each time? I just feel a lot of derealization(where nothing feels real) and brain fog and terrible memory and inability to focus and other flatline symptoms that I feel I should be past and would be had I not orgasmed at all this streak. I’ve also been on an anxiety rollercoaster where it’s insane some days but almost completely gone other days but it’s been there most of the streak to some degree. And my social anxiety is somehow worse than it’s ever been which makes no sense to me being almost 70 days without porn or masturbation. Part of me WANTS to believe that I’m forgetting it’s all temporary and part of the process and it will get better if I keep marching on and avoiding porn, but there’s a bigger voice that keeps saying “Nope. This is life now. Get used to it because this is permanent.” I enjoy doing things with her and I’m not fantasizing at all or thinking about porn when we get intimate, BUT I feel like I would definitely reboot faster without it. Thanks to all who can share experiences and advice!!!