I NEED ADVICE
I’ve been with my boyfriend for well over 2 years. I love him with everything and I’m starting to feel like I need to move on. Since I’ve met him, he always would call me retarded. It started out as a joke and eventually become his favorite word in every argument or disagreement. Every time I do something wrong or he doesn’t like he brings me down and belittles everything I say or feel. Last week we were putting up a AC together and he got flustered and asked for my help. I went to help and he immediately attacked me. Called me “slow”, “retarded”, “little minded”. I told him that it’s not nice to do that when I’m just trying to help. I sat down because it’s something I’ve been dealing with for 2 years and he knows I’m fed up. I told him that I’ll help when he can talk to me with more respect. I got upset and reminded him that he just told me last night he was going to be better and treat me correctly. It escalated after and I was told “woman are slow”, “this is why you have no friends, “stop being so sensitive”, “you’re white that’s why you act this way”, “you’re ugly, “you’re a bop”, “you’re disgusting”, “you’re relentless”, “I’m mental” “I need help” “words shouldn’t hurt your slow ass”, “I’m single”. I could go on for days. It breaks my heart because I love him. But we go through this everyday now and he apologizes every night and the next morning does the same thing but worse. Am I just sensitive? No I actually need help? We have other issues in past but we passed that. I wish I could Ignore him and not let words hurt me. But he has brought me down so slow where idk who I am anymore. I just need advice. What to do. What to say to him. My tears and feelings will never mean anything to him. He turns into a monster. Am I wrong?