u/GatoradeProteinBar

I (19m) went out and smoked meth a few days ago. For some context and background about why this is so detrimental to me, my family has a long line of addiction. When I was first born my mother was addicted to cocaine and Xanax, my father was addicted to meth and heroin. As I grew older with my sister with me, we both swore to never be like our parents and never end up like them. Well fast forward to now, my sister is doing great, fully moved out and has a kid. Never touched drugs either. I went a completely different route and fully regret this. I made some friends in highschool and we stared small, just smoking weed on the weekends and getting drunk. Later on, it led to being high at school, every single day. Then high at work. Then drinking and driving. We did this for almost 2 years straight till I moved out of state. I tossed all the weed and alcohol I had away, and cut ties with those friends. While out of state, I got sober for 7 or 8 months. I eventually returned to my home to see my family and get a new job, so I could be closer to home. I met up with those same friends again, who are now both pending felons for cocaine charges. Needless to say I ended up snorting some coke with them. The coke made me feel amazing, like I could act normal, talk normal, I wasn’t nervous about everything. My friends refused to give me the dealers name, since they know how quick I am to be hooked. Since they didn’t give me the dealer I went out searching myself. I went out to the city and walked around asking for bag, eventually a man told me he has t bag. I asked, “what’s t bag?” And he goes, “it’s meth”. Needless to say, I needed something. I go to his house and begin smoking the meth. I stayed up for 3 days straight, and didn’t eat for 4. I don’t feel the need to do meth, but I feel the need to do coke, and because of this feeling I’m scared I’m going to end up just like my father. I just wanted to get this off my chest since no one knows I’m using meth, besides those friends who have now gotten sober.