Doomed demisexual in sex obsessed world
After coming out I was in a LTR that lasted a decade, and to some extent hid in that to protect me from the larger gay world.
The allure of the gay scene in NYC is strong when you’re a cute (naive) 20-something, and I dove in to the parties, the socializing, the trips, etc. I’ve been to many a fire island sex party, or late night nyc afters where HOT naked guys are all around and generally down for whatever….but I struggle to participate.
Like sure there are guys I think are hot, but even when guys come onto me I tend to be avoidant and deflect…
I keep putting myself in these situations and wonder what my goal is, and I guess it’s some hope exposure therapy can make me want to f*ck just bc everyone else is doing it and finds it to be the meaning of life.
There seems to be post after post of guys fiendish for dark rooms and such, and posts about guys desperate for boyfriends.
I’ve also long given up hope/belief in there being a forever person for me….but would have to think there are other people who only enjoy sex with some level of connection.