TW: Discussion of parental sexual neglect, assault
I was molested by another child as a kid, which I understand is 100% sexual assault. But recently I have opened up for the first time ever things that I was exposed to in my household that were extremely inappropriate and certainly neglect but I have a hard time categorizing it or really gauging how abnormal it was because I've told very few people. Mostly avoided it out of embarrassment or disgust.
When I was young, earliest recallable memories of it beginning in kindergarten through elementary until their divorce, my parents would frequently have incredibly loud (very scary at the time) sex in the middle of the day. Sometimes with the bedroom door locked, and I would sit outside their door crying and knocking. This happened constantly. Sometimes in the middle of the living room just whenever. I've walked in on them actively having sex more times than I think are normal. I remember my mom would always get very angry at me for interrupting. I was also witnessing constant DV during this time too.
What is this? This isn't all of it but the big picture of it.
Silly but sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who has gone through this, I know realistically I'm not. I down play it because it doesnt feel like its the worst that couldve happened, but it really affected me as a child and to be honest still does as an adult. It was terrifying and really messed up my view of relationships, the only time I'd ever see my parents together is if they were having sex or if they were fighting. I recently opened up to a therapist about this last year, but she didn't seem super receptive about exploring it. I'm seeing a new therapist now and hopefully itll be better.